Wait! I think the Pirates just gave up 6 more runs!

^

The Bald Truth

This is how the season's going for Aramis Ramirez and Milton Bradley:

Ramirez got sick and Bradley pulled up lame so they were scratched from Friday's game against the Pirates and missed The Stat-Padding Opportunity of a Lifetime.

I covered the Cubs' 17-2 win for AP (read my story HERE) and, hours later, I'm still exhausted from having to keep score, let alone from documenting all the "most runs since ... " stats.

Good news for those who track these things: The last time the Cubs had 14 runs in the first two innings of a game - 1906 - they were about to launch a dynasty.

Now if they could just bring back Tinker, Evers, Chance, Three-Finger and Orval Overall, they'd be set!

The Mailbag

From loyal reader Drew Stout of Cary, Ill:

Dear Santa,

All we want for Christmas is to play the Pirates for the rest of the regular season and playoffs.

Sincerely,

The Chicago Cubs

Well, Drew, obviously the Cubs have to play teams other than the Pirates for the rest of the season. But the playoffs? Never fear. The Pirates are shoo-ins!

We are talking the New York-Penn League playoffs, right?

The Balder Truth

The Cubs weren't the only ones getting busy scoring runs Friday.

The Orioles put up 16 against the Angels (who, believe it or not, actually are slightly better than the Pirates).

And get this: Felix Pie hit for the cycle.

Jeesh. When he was with the Cubbies, he rarely even hit for the unicycle.

The Quote

"In the big leagues, I don't think you can have that emotion because you play for keeps." - Koyie Hill, when asked if he felt sorry for the Pirates.

The Pirates? Hell with that. The only people to feel sorry for are Pirates fans.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The Cubbieland Beer Thrower turned himself in!

Repeat: The Cubbieland Beer Thrower turned himself in!

Yes, our national nightmare is over!