Thursday, July 9, 2009

Run, Roland, Run!

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The Bald Truth

U.S. Sen. Roland Burris (D-Flimflammer) saying he won't run for re-election is like me saying I won't run in the Chicago Marathon.

Except I'd have a better chance of winning.

Hey, I've been working out!

The Quote I

"It's the same thing every year: You go through your bad stretch and it's full-on panic. There's better things to come for those guys. They're gonna get hot and stay hot. They have too much talent over there not to." - ex-Cubbie Kerry Wood, talking about his former club.

If memory serves, Wood's 2004 and 2005 Cubs also had too much talent.

The Balder Truth

If Clayton Richard makes another start for the White Sox, it will be one start too many. In fact, it's already been about eight starts too many.

Why are Kenny Williams and Ozzie Guillen so afraid to give Aaron Poreda the ball and let him do his thing? 

Put him on a very tight pitch count, tell him to use extra ice after each start and read him a bedtime story every night ... but for cryin' out loud, put the kid in the rotation.

The Quote II

"I've been watching more TV at night. Just got done watching Rescue Me with Dennis Leary; that's really got me locked in." - Indians catcher Kelly Shoppach, after being asked what he was doing to try to get out of his season-long slump.

Great show, Rescue Me. It's another in a series of excellent FX series. Funnier than hell. But, I warn you, not for the kiddies. And that means you, Aaron Poreda!

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The Dallas Mavericks have assembled a new version of the Phoenix team that was never quite good enough to get to the NBA Finals.

Starring as Steve Nash is Jason Kidd, who is older than Nash and can't shoot.

Starring as Amare Stoudemire is Dirk Nowitzki, who is older than Amare and likes to hang out around the 3-point line.

And starring as Shawn Marion is the newest Mav, Shawn Marion, who is older than the old Marion and about 80 percent as effective.

Yes, Mark Cuban has built a Suns-ish team that is sure to go all the way ... to the second round.

If Dirk's hitting his 3's, anyway.

1 comment:

  1. did you hear that your favorite sports announcer and riske' dresser got a bimp in the head courtesy of the New York Mets and Alex Cora...maybe they should date...

    ReplyDelete