From Cra-Z to delusional Sammy

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The Bald Truth

Word is, Cra-Z Zambrano missed the Cubs' flight to Atlanta because he couldn't afford the CTA fare to O'Hare.

Hey, it went up by a whole quarter not too long ago!

The Balder Truth

Nice job by the White Sox bringing up ballyhooed infield prospect Gordon Beckham.

It was time to dump Wilson Betemit (The Impediment) and to dial back the playing time of Whiffmeister Josh Fields.

The Sox could have gotten away with saying that their 2008 No. 1 draft pick needed "more seasoning" in the minors - which would have been a good way to delay his eventual big-bucks earning potential.

But they are trying to win now ... and really, is there any way Beckham can do any worse than Fields and Betemit?

Not as long as he doesn't wear a blindfold to the batter's box and oven mitts when taking the field.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Gotta love this nugget from ESPNdeportes.com: Sammy Sosa says he soon will announce his retirement. He also told the Web site he won't allow his legacy to be tainted by all those who say he used steroids.

"Everything I achieved, I did it thanks to my perseverance, which is why I never had any long, difficult moments. I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Don't I have the numbers to be inducted?"

So many reactions, so little time ...

1. Sammy isn't already retired?

2. If Sammy actually used "perseverance" correctly in a sentence - be it a Spanish sentence, an English sentence or a Hebrew sentence - I'll pay Cra-Z's next "el" fare.

3. Sure ... no long, difficult moments at all for Sammy. Unless one counts a week-long suspension for using a corked bat, a trip to the DL after a sneeze-enduced back ailment, permanent banishment from Cubbieland - and corresponding boom-box destruction - after his premature departure from Wrigley Field during the 2004 season finale, numerous strikeout-filled batting slumps, etc., etc., etc.

4. Yes, Sammy certainly has Hall-worthy numbers. And he might want to call his "buddy," Mark McGwire, to chat about exactly what those numbers are worth to cynical, juicer-denying Hall voters.

5. Here's hoping Sammy enjoys his calm wait. His long, calm wait. His 20-year long and ultimately unfulfilling, calm wait. He just might want to accept his invitation into the Corking Hall of Fame, because that's about the only one that figures to come a-callin'.