The Baldest Truth

New Cubbie coach shows chivalry isn't dead

2012-02-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

The Cubs' new pitching coach is former Brewers right-hander Chris Bosio. He's come a long way in just a few years. In 2007, he was the pitching coach at Division III Lawrence University, where my daughter just so happened to be a student trainer assigned to the baseball team.

What did Katie think of Bosio?

"He NEVER let the boys swear around me ... that's pretty much my only memory of him. Oh, and the fact that he chewed approximately a bucket of seeds per practice. Two per game."

Sounds eminently qualified to me!

---

Regular readers will note that this is my first post of the week, and it might or might not be my last post for another week.

No real reason for the break. Just chillaxin' instead of bloggin'.

And you know what? The pay's exactly the same!

Be back eventually. I know you'll barely be able to stand each passing minute.

Patriots goat Welker: The agony of the irony

2012-02-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

A month into the 1994 baseball season, I covered a no-hitter pitched by Twins enigma Scott Erickson. What made the feat especially amazing was that he had allowed the most hits in the major leagues the year before.

The most hittable pitcher in baseball throwing a no-hitter. It isn't easy to beat that for irony.

Well, Sunday night in a memorable Super Bowl, Wes Welker out-ironied Erickson.

From 2007-11, the Patriots' star receiver caught 554 passes, by far the most of any NFL player. In the season just concluded, he led the league with 122 catches -- 22 more than anybody else.

And yet there he was Sunday, with about 4 minutes to play, dropping a Tom Brady pass that hit him in the hands. NBC announcer Cris Collinsworth, a former All-Pro receiver, was stunned: "Welker makes that catch 100 times out of 100."

The catch would have given the Patriots a first down inside the Giants' 20-yard line. The Patriots already led by 2 points, so if they had proceeded to go in for a TD, it would have sealed the deal. Even if the Pats would have settled for a field goal, the Giants were down to one time out, there would have been precious little time left and a victory would have been difficult even for comeback king Eli Manning.

But Welker dropped the ball, the Patriots had to punt, and Manning, with plenty of time on the clock and needing only a field goal to take the lead, methodically marched the Giants to the winning score.

There were many things that did the Patriots in, including uncharacteristic penalties, an inability to run the ball and Brady being mortal.

Still, had the NFL's premier pass-catcher caught an eminently catchable pass, the Patriots almost surely would have won their fourth title.

Take that, Scott Erickson!

It won't be a Giant upset

2012-02-04T20:08:00.000-08:00

The Giants appear to be better at just about every position -- even QB, given the way Eli Manning and Tom Brady have been playing lately. That leads many TV yakkers and other "experts" who should know better to wonder why the Patriots actually are favored.

Being favored has fairly little to do with which team the oddsmakers believe will win a game. Oddsmakers try to pick a number that will lead to the same number of bets on each team, plain and simple. If the Giants win, only a fool would call it an upset.

Now that I've wasted time, I guess I actually have to come up with a prediction.

I really, really, really hate picking against Brady and Bill Belichick. But I really, really think the Giants are a good team that is peaking at exactly the right time. The New Jerseyites' defense rates a huge edge over its Massachusetts counterpart, and defense still counts for something.

Giants 23, Patriots 20.

And they won't even need a guy to catch a pass with his helmet this time.

It's Simcha's Birthday!

2012-02-02T06:20:00.001-08:00

Happy 1st birthday to the most beautiful pup in the world!

Occasionally, we do wonder if coming to North Carolina was the right thing to do. If we hadn't journeyed here, however, we never would have found our best friend.

Our lives are better because Simmie is all ours!

We're looking forward to spending many, many, MANY more happy birthdays with our Simcha!
^

It's only a 40-yard dash to Orange Julius

2012-02-01T16:05:00.000-08:00

National Signing Day ... ugh.

If I wanted to watch a bunch of teenage boys trying on college team caps, I'd hang out at Lids in the mall.

Unlike Tiger, Nadal had legit excuse

2012-01-30T19:28:00.001-08:00

No coffee for Rafael Nadal or Tiger Woods.

Coffee is for closers!

At least my nephew Rafa had an excuse. The best tennis player on the planet, Novak Djokovic, was running him ragged in a 6-hour marathon that featured hundreds of amazing shots by both players. There was no shame at all in losing one of the best grand slam finals ever.

Tiger? The guy who built a reputation as the best closer since Michael Jordan gagged away the final round in Abu Dhabi and lost to some dude named Robert Rock. And I don't think it was because Rock is the best golfer on the planet.

Every time Eldrick has a good round or two, ESPNers and other fawning media types can't wait to declare, "Tiger's back!" By Tiger's own definition, however, the only tournaments that really matter are the majors ... so we shouldn't believe he's back until he wins one of those.

Given that he hasn't won a full-field tournament of any kind since well before Djokovic became the best tennis player on the planet, we might be waiting quite a while.

Today's High 5: GOP Debate Edition

2012-01-27T07:12:00.000-08:00

5. I wouldn't vote for Rick Santorum because he and I have significant ideological differences. Still, I find it repulsive and despicable (two words favored by Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich) that a legitimate candidate who appeals to millions of voters and has strong convictions cannot compete because he lacks a gazillion-dollar "war chest."

For what it's worth (not much), I thought Santorum "won" Thursday's debate -- the last GOP debate for a while, thank Yahweh, Jesus, Allah, Joseph Smith and Richard Dawkins -- in part because he stood above the petty silliness of the Dueling Liars. His attempt to calm the rhetoric between Mitt and Newt and concentrate on issues was practically heroic (albeit failed).

Unfortunately for Santorum, he has absolutely no chance to emerge as the GOP nominee. Unlike his main rivals, he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth and he doesn't have a Vegas Sugar Daddy pouring funds into his attack-ad account.

Instead of making our elections more "of the people," the Supreme Court made them even more about who has the most corporate financial backing.

Until a constitutional amendment that repeals the Citizens United decision and crafts fair campaign finance rules is enacted, things will only get worse and worse for regular folks who want to serve their country.

4. Romney claims that he doesn't make his own investments and that he has no input in the brutally negative ads his Super PACs have been running.

I'm pretty sure he'd be a lousy president, but I'm confident he'd be one heck of an Ostrich in Chief.

3. Ron Paul makes a lot of sense when he talks about the need to stop America's ruinous nation-building policies and to significantly reduce the national deficit.

However, he couldn't sound more out of touch every time he makes a reference to the way things were done in the olden days.

He needs to stop suggesting that we ignore the plight of poor people and let churches take care of them "like they used to." He needs to stop pretending that seniors "did just fine" before Medicare was enacted nearly 50 years ago; a huge percentage of them lived in abject poverty, unable to afford even basic care. He needs to realize that every time he starts a point by saying, "Back in 1962 ... " he reminds everybody how old he is.

Paul is a smart man and I'm guessing he was a fine doctor. But no matter how often he longs for simpler times, today's doctors aren't going to start making house calls again and they aren't going to accept chickens as payment.

We have a health-care crisis now, and longing for the good ol' days of leeches and castor oil won't solve anything.

2. Oh, Stephen Colbert ... please come back!

1. The Great Debater -- a.k.a. The Newtster -- is a myth.

Turning legitimate questions about his character into blame-the-media diatribes is not debating. It is bloviating. Such a tactic might be able to incite a frothing-at-the-mouth, intellectually suspect audience of tea partiers, but it hasn't worked when the crowds have been more civil and more diverse. And it certainly won't work in the general election, should Gingrich get that far.

He tried it again Thursday, but Wolf Blitzer, bless his heart, wouldn't let him. Gingrich was forced to deal with a difficult question, and he got his clock cleaned by Romney.

Romney easily out-pointed Gingrich in the two most recent debates, helping explain his renewed rise in the polls. And with Blitzer giving them more opportunities to talk Thursday, Santorum and Paul were more appealing and respectable than Newt.

Gingrich believes he could out-debate Barack Obama, but I doubt there's any way Newt would be viewed as anything but a bully and a blowhard by the independents who will decide the election.

Fortunately for the GOP, it's doubtful Newt will get that far. Republican leaders are coming out strong against him, and the public finds him mostly repugnant. His "likability" numbers are so low they'd lose a limbo contest to Muggsy Bogues.

This will be the ninth presidential election since I turned voting age, and I'm struggling to remember if there has been a more loathsome and revolting candidate for either party's nomination than Newt Gingrich.

Help me out here ... did Charles Manson, David Duke, Bobby Knight or Rosie O'Donnell ever run for president?

GateHouse's 1 percent get rich at the expense of its 99 percent

2012-01-26T12:56:00.001-08:00

GateHouse just laid off perhaps its most nationally renowned journalist, talented Springfield State Journal-Register editorial cartoonist Chris Britt.

As was the case when I was canned in 2009, Chris became a luxury the company decided not to afford.

I didn't know Chris well, but I long respected his work, which was syndicated and appeared in newspapers throughout the country. He is the latest in a series of quality journalists let go in GateHouse's hopeless attempt to make ends meet in a financially strapped industry. The gutting of newsrooms began shortly after GateHouse bought several Copley newspapers in the summer of 2007.

What really ticks me off isn't that David Copley sold us out by accepting an offer from a horribly run company that lacked the money to thrive after the deal. It isn't that GateHouse borrowed heavily to make its footprint larger, all but guaranteeing failure. It isn't even that, from Day 1, GateHouse let it be known that the bottom line would trump quality journalism.

No, what really ticks me off is that while GateHouse ruined hundreds of employees' lives -- supposedly in the name of fiscal austerity -- it has awarded millions upon millions of dollars in cash bonuses the last few years to the very executives who have run the operation into the ground.

In 2011, CEO Michael Reed was rewarded handsomely for firing employees and ruining the product: $750,000!

Four other executives received bonuses ranging from $80k to $275k.

It is more than morally bankrupt. It is criminal ... or at least it should be.

From Motown, a princely sum

2012-01-24T21:12:00.001-08:00

The Yankees weren't interested. Neither were the Red Sox or Phillies. They already had their big-money first basemen.

The Angels? Not unless they decided to trade Albert Pujols.

The Mets and Dodgers have financial woes that make our national debt look palatable.

Cubbies boss Tom Ricketts, still choking down the Alfonso Soriano mega-contract he inherited from the previous regime (and paying Cra-Z Zambrano nearly $18 million to not pitch in Chicago this season), had no appetite for another gargantuan deal.

The Rangers, Giants, White Sox and suddenly spend-a-riffic Marlins were all tapped out.

Yes, as consistently good as he has been, Prince Fielder entered free agency with few legitimate suitors.

And yet there he was Tuesday, celebrating the nine-year, $214 million contract he got from a Detroit team that seemed to have already cornered the market on first basemen who should be DHs.

One thing for sure:

When I make my big comeback, I'm hiring Scott Boras as my agent!

Misery has company: Williams & Cundiff

2012-01-23T10:33:00.000-08:00

I don't feel sorry for Kyle Williams and Billy Cundiff. They are well-compensated professional athletes who are paid not to play football but to achieve at football. The Niners return man and Ravens kicker each had his team's potential for success in his hands (and feet) ... and each failed.

Still, I wouldn't wish the special kind of misery each is going through now on anybody. No human being should have to go through life being labeled a goat, a choker, a loser or worse. It's not as if both guys wanted to mess up.

In the end, I give a lot of credit to Williams and Cundiff, each of whom stood before a media throng and owned up to his failure, making no excuses, blaming no one else. That takes courage and class.

Here's hoping that Williams and Cundiff each get another shot at playoff glory ... and that each makes good next time.

Prediction: XLII rematch (sans David Tyree)

2012-01-22T06:11:00.000-08:00

The home team is 7-1 in the NFL playoffs. Even the Broncos, who deserved a playoff berth as much as I deserve to be the next president (not that I wouldn't do at least as well as today's incumbent and candidates) won their home playoff game.

The one road victor? The New York Giants, who did pretty much whatever they wanted in Green Bay last week.

The Giants are this year's version of the 2010 Packers and 2005 Steelers. Oh, and the 2007 Giants. Those teams quite arguably weren't the best in the NFL in those seasons, but they got hot at the right time and rolled to win championships.

These Giants have the same QB as the 2007 Giants, but Eli Manning is so much better now. In addition, they have been running the ball well and putting immense pressure on the opposing quarterback.

49ers QB Alex Smith showed a lot in last week's win against the Saints, but can he excel two weeks in a row against a defense that will relentlessly pursue him?

I'm answering "No" to that question and going with the hot QB, the on-fire team and the only club to have won a road game this postseason.

Giants 24, Niners 19.

In the AFC, I have a weakness: I can't pick against Tom Brady.

That worked fine 10 years ago but it certainly hasn't been an automatic recipe for success in recent seasons.

Oh well, fool me six times, shame on me.

Patriots 34, Ravens 17.

Top 3 things I'll miss about Rick Perry now that he has high-tailed it back to Texas

2012-01-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

1. He was funny, especially when he was trying to be serious. Interestingly, his predecessor as the governor of Texas had a similar talent.

2. Any member of any middle school debate team would soundly thrash him in any debate about any subject ... and we need to feel good about our schools.

3. He advocated ... um ... uh ... he was in favor of ... no, wait, it'll come to me ... he opposed ... uh ... you know ...

I can't. Sorry. Oops.

Is Romney one of us? Not very much!

2012-01-18T07:50:00.000-08:00

A cold, calculating corporate raider, Mitt Romney has set himself apart from several GOP rivals by mostly avoiding goofy statements.

He is, however, often clueless and out of touch.

No comment illustrates that more than his assertion that the $347,000 he earned for speaking engagements from February 2010 to February 2011 was "not very much."

Romney wears jeans to try to pretend to be one of us, but is he so clueless that he doesn't realize it takes the average American 7 years to earn what he made in his spare time? Doesn't he realize that by calling $374,000 "not very much," he is alienating all the hard-working folks who live paycheck to paycheck?

Why would a regular person vote for somebody like that?

Today's High 5: Brady beats Tebow ... the Devil made him do it!

2012-01-15T22:03:00.000-08:00

5. Remember how Tim Tebow passed for 316 yards (and averaged 31.6 yards per completion) in last week's upset of the Steelers, and his fellow ultra-believers quickly pointed out the religious significance of that total? You know, John 3:16 and all.

What a divine coincidence!

Well good news, kids: There were fun coincidences involving the performance of Tebow and his Broncos this weekend, too!

For example, Tebow passed for 136 yards. John 1:36 says: "And he looked at Jesus as He walked, and said, 'Behold, the Lamb of God!" That's all well and good, but there's a reason no sports teams are called the Lambs.

Denver lost 45-10 to the Patriots in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the final score indicated. That 35-point spread? Well, 3 + 5 = 8, and that's how many wives the Old Testament says David had. (Not sure what that has to do with football, but it's at least as meaningful a coincidence as the whole John 3:16 deal.)

Tom Brady had 6 touchdown passes. Touchdowns are worth 6 points. The lack of a Denver pass rush gave Brady 6 seconds in the pocket each time he went back to pass. 6-6-6! Obviously, Brady is the Devil's pawn!

I could go on, but that's enough biblical "coincidences" for one day, don't ya think?

4. This year's Giants remind me of last year's Packers. Good team getting better just when it matters most.

This year's Packers, meanwhile, remind me of, well, every other team that's been crowned far too early.

And to think, if the NFL ran things the way the NCAA does, the Packers would have been granted an automatic spot in the Super Bowl.

3. The Giants won despite getting royally hosed by the referee, who ignored overwhelming video evidence and refused to overturn a horrible no-fumble call.

Had that call been made correctly, the game probably would have been a rout.

2. It's only mid-January, but I'll be surprised if there is a more entertaining sporting event all year than the 49ers-Saints game.

1. I like Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, but they lost me when they wondered out loud if the two-week layoff had made Aaron Rodgers and the Packers rusty.

Please.

The Patriots, 49ers and Ravens also had two-week layoffs. They somehow managed to shake off the rust.

The Giants had something to do with Rodgers having a bad game. The fact that Green Bay receivers played as if they had anvils attached to their hands had something to do with Rodgers' poor performance, too.

Bottom line: The Giants outplayed the Packers in every phase. Give them credit. Don't give the Packers excuses.

Preparing for lots of time in my La-Z-Boy

2012-01-14T13:34:00.000-08:00

Gotta go meet some friends and realized I haven't yet prognosticated this fun NFL weekend, so here's a quickie:

Saints at 49ers: I know the Saints never win on the road in the playoffs, but I just can't shake the feeling that it's gonna come down to which QB executes the best in the fourth quarter. And I'm taking Drew Brees over Alex Smith. Saints 27, Niners 20.

Broncos at Patriots: The Pats don't play defense very well, so here's another chance for You Know Who to prove himself again. If it becomes a shootout, though, gotta go with the other You Know Who -- the one with the supermodel wife and the three Super Bowl rings. Patriots 35, Broncos 19.

Texans at Ravens: I'm trying to figure out a way to pick a huge upset. And I can't do it. Ravens 34, Texans 13.

Giants at Packers: This has stunner written all over it. The Giants are playing very well on both sides of the ball -- maybe they are this year's version of last year's Packers? Meanwhile, the Packers have just been chillin' for weeks. I'm putting lots of faith in Aaron Rodgers and the home-field advantage. Packers 24, Giants 22.

Funnyman joins clowns in GOP field

2012-01-12T23:22:00.000-08:00

I finally, finally, FINALLY have a GOP presidential candidate to support.

As the crowd likes to chant on The Colbert Report: "Ste-phen! Ste-phen! Ste-phen!"

I've gotten used to listening to the gibberish that comes out of these guys' mouths and thinking: "He can't be serious!" Now, at last, I can say that about one candidate and it'll be the baldest truth.

Romney: The Bain of Newt's Existence

2012-01-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

It's pretty amazing to hear conservative rivals blasting Mitt Romney for being, well, a classic capitalist.

Because if there's one thing nobody should expect a conservative businessman t0 do, it's buying downtrodden companies, stripping them bare, reducing their workforce by 75 percent (or more) and then selling them at a profit.

If Romney wins the GOP nomination, Barack Obama won't even have to say anything to criticize Romney. All he'll have to do is roll tape of Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Rick Perry calling Romney a ruthless, heartless corporate raider.

I mean, if Newt says that about a fellow Republican ... what will people with actual hearts and souls think of the guy?

It's less amazing to hear how out of touch Romney was when it comes to health insurance. Does he really believe that if you don't like your insurance company you can just fire them?

Far more likely, your insurance fires you. Or jacks up your premium whenever it pleases. Or denies you coverage altogether because of your pre-existing medical condition.

No matter how often Romney dons denim and claims he has experienced financial angst, he'll never be able to relate with regular working stiffs.

Stiffs, maybe. But not regular working stiffs.

I can't for the life of me understand why any conservative Republican would choose Mitt Romney over Gingrich, Santorum or Perry. Nor do I understand why any right-leaning moderate would go for Romney over the far more likable and competent Jon Huntsman. And once we get to the general election, why would any left-leaning moderate vote for Romney over Obama?

Never have so many held their noses while choosing their candidate.

It's not the Hall of Very Good

2012-01-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

It shouldn't be easy to get in the Baseball Hall of Fame, so I don't feel "sorry" for anybody who didn't make it. Two guys I voted for didn't get enough votes: Tim Raines and Jack Morris. They'll have more chances, though Morris only has two more years on the ballot.

Meanwhile, congrats to Barry Larkin, a heck of a shortstop in his day and, from all accounts, a decent guy.

The buzz is already starting about The Juicer Class of '13. Lots of interesting debates to come!

Tebow to me (and millions of others): In your face!

2012-01-08T20:54:00.000-08:00

Just as I predicted, there would be no stopping Tim Tebow!

Hey, give the dude credit. After a bad first quarter for him and the Broncos, he played the best long stretch of his short NFL career. Despite his many flaws, Tebow showed why playoffs are great in every sport (except Division I college football, where there aren't any):

Anything can and will happen.

Including my first couple of prognosticating screwups of 2012.

Another point hammered home: It's tough to win on the road in the NFL. All four home teams won ... and I was foolish enough to pick two road winners.

At least the Steelers made it close. The Falcons looked inept against the suddenly rolling G-Men. My buddy Mitch, a Giants fan since Lawrence Taylor was smoking crack from a high chair, is awfully giddy today!

NFL playoff predictions: Steel Curtain will be doing lots of Tebowing

2012-01-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

Can anybody beat the Packers in Green Bay? Of course. Even though a home playoff loss for the Pack would be surprising, it certainly wouldn't be unprecedented.

Just nine years ago, Atlanta -- a warm-weather, domed-stadium team -- went up to Green Bay and routed the Packers, who had gone 8-0 at home during the regular season.

So it would be silly to say a really good team like the Saints couldn't repeat such a feat this year.

But hey, I'm not quite ready to go there yet. Let's get Week 1 of the playoffs out of the way first ...

BENGALS at TEXANS

Gotta give credit to the Texans, who have had to use four QBs this season and who were missing their stud receiver for a good chunk of the campaign. Take THAT, all those (ahem, Bears) who love to use injuries as an excuse. Such sticktoitiveness deserves a nod in my predictions. Texans 20, Bengals 15.

LIONS at SAINTS

The Lions are fun to watch. They're a cool story, too, overcoming their recent history of utter ineptitude to put together a nice season. The Saints are even more fun to watch, however. They're also at home, where they hardly ever lose. Saints 37, Lions 21.

FALCONS at GIANTS

It's hard to figure the Giants, who can look very good or very bad -- often in the same quarter of the same game. The Falcons also had a season full of fits and starts, so this is a toughie to predict. One would think being at home would be a huge edge for the Giants, but Atlanta's road record (4-4) is the same as the Giants' home record. Let's pick a mild upset, then: Falcons 23, Giants 17.

STEELERS at BRONCOS

One of the quirks of NFL playoff scheduling is that a 12-4 team is forced to go on the road to face an 8-8 team that backed into the playoffs (because the 8-8 team won its division). A similar thing happened in the NFC last year, and the Seahawks stunned the Saints. Well, no such thing will happen this time. The Steelers won't lose a playoff game to the worst QB still standing. Steelers 27, Broncos 9.

Milton Bradley must not have been available

2012-01-05T09:49:00.000-08:00

^
Yep, Cra-Z Zambrano is sure to settle down nicely under the calm guidance of Ozzie Guillen.

Gotta admit: It would be fun to be a columnist in Miami next baseball season.
^

New Bears GM will be stuck with Lovie

2012-01-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

So Jerry Angelo is gone, but the McCaskeys are too cheap to fire Lovie Smith, who still has two pricey years left on his contract.

When will these people -- and I'm not just talking about the McCaskeys, but all owners and GMs in pro sports -- learn not to give a contract extension to a non-championship coach who has time remaining on his previous contract?

You have to do that in big-time college sports because you have to keep the recruits from defecting. But in pro sports? What's the rush?

Were the Bears really afraid that some other team was going to sweep in and steal Lovie Smith away? (And Dick Jauron before that? And Dave Wannstedt before that?)

OK, so let's say the McCaskeys sign Matt Forte to a long-term deal and that Forte, Jay Cutler and the team's other key players stay healthy next season. And let's say the Bears somehow go 10-6, make the playoffs and maybe even win a postseason game.

If Jupiter aligns with Mars and all that good stuff happens, will the new GM and the McCaskeys seriously consider extending Lovie's contract again -- even though Lovie will have another year to go?

Only if they're foolish.

Which probably means there's at least a 50-50 chance.

Rating QBs ... from Tebow to Rodgers to Romo to Hanie

2012-01-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

Nobody says "The check's in the mail" any more. For one thing, nobody under the age of 80 writes checks. And pretty much nobody mails anything other than junk.

Another saying that should go into permanent hiatus: "The quarterback gets too much credit when you win and too much blame when you lose."

QB is the single most important position in team sports. (You might say hockey goalie, but let's stick to sports that people actually watch.) A team with a great quarterback has a chance to excel and a team that lacks even a good quarterback has little chance at all. Of course, there have been a few exceptions over the years in the NFL. Very few.

The QB handles the football on every play, makes dozens upon dozens of critical in-game decisions and must execute every play properly -- be it a handoff, pitch or pass -- for an offense to function. When a close game comes down to crunch time, the ability and demeanor of the quarterback usually is the one deciding factor.

Fact is, the QB never can get too much credit or blame.

I still don't think Tim Tebow can be a winning QB in the NFL over time, but he deserves credit for the Broncos' surprising success during the eight-week stretch that put them in position to back into the playoffs. And Tebow deserves at least as much blame for the team's complete collapse during the final three weeks.

If he and his passionate-bordering-on-bonkers fans don't think such scrutiny is fair, Tebow should become a linebacker or tight end.

Which, by the way, would be better positions for him.

But enough about Tim Tebow for today. There are plenty of other QBs to talk about now that the regular season has ended:

TOM BRADY: It's hard to imagine choosing another quarterback if you have to win one game.

DREW BREES: Unless it's this guy, who is almost impossibly accurate. He and the Saints are too much fun to watch.

AARON RODGERS: Then again, maybe it's this guy, the shoo-in for league MVP. If there's a Mount Rushmore of today's ridiculously good quarterbacks, Rodgers, Brees and Brady are the equivalent of Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln.

PEYTON MANNING: The perfect example of the importance of having a great QB. But he isn't healthy, so right now Teddy Roosevelt would have to be ...

BEN ROETHLISBERGER: I'm fairly sure he's a jerk, and he rarely looks pretty on the field. But he has won two Super Bowls and he's got a decent chance for a third. He plays tough, he plays hurt and he usually plays really well.

ELI MANNING: Were I a Giants fan, I'd love to hate this guy. For big chunks of every game, he plays ugly. But he absolutely carried the team this year and he has a knack for pulling games out at the end. In that way, he's similar to Tebow. Except Eli's actually a QB.

MARK SANCHEZ: By far, New Jersey's worst pro QB.

CAM NEWTON: A young Steve Young, but already as polished a passer as Young became well into his career. I actually looked forward to Panthers games every week just to watch this guy.

PHILIP RIVERS: Just good enough to be not quite great enough for a Chargers team that never has quite enough.

CARSON PALMER: Still waiting to see what all the hype is about.

MIKE VICK: The rest of the NFC is glad Vick and his Philly teammates didn't realize the lockout had ended until the season was 12 weeks old.

TONY ROMO: You know this guy is talented, but there's just something missing. He's sort of Eli Manning's opposite because he far too often finds a way to lose.

REX GROSSMAN: A very, very, very poor man's Romo.

KYLE ORTON: After coming off the scrap heap to lead the Chiefs to victory over the Packers, and then helping knock off Tebow in the season finale, Orton probably earned a very nice paycheck for himself next season. And speaking of guys who earned a big payday ...

MATT FLYNN: Aaron Who? Brett Who?

MATTHEW STAFFORD: Looks like he can be pretty special, at least as long as he can stay healthy -- and as long as Calvin Johnson is on the field with him.

MATT SCHAUB: A shame he got hurt just as the Texans were starting to get good.

ALEX SMITH: Finally came into his own in San Fran under Jim Harbaugh. I'm looking forward to seeing how he does under playoff pressure.

ANDY DALTON: Obviously skilled ... but will he be more than Carson Palmer?

SAM BRADFORD: Not enough information to know if he's a superstar in the making or an injury-prone bust in the making.

CHRISTIAN PONDER: A great big "We'll see."

JOE FLACCO: Eli Manning Lite.

JAY CUTLER: Another Romo-type who can make all the plays but often doesn't. Still, Chicago fans learned the hard way this year that there are a lot worse QBs than Cutler. Such as ...

CALEB HANIE: Sure, I'll have fries with that.

Tebow's amazing powers

2012-01-01T20:04:00.000-08:00

Couldn't help but be impressed with the way Tim Tebow led the Broncos into the playoffs ... by willing the Chargers to victory over the Raiders!

Fool Michael twice, shame on him

2011-12-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

You're a multizillionaire, you famously like to play the field and you lost a small fortune to your previous wife in a divorce settlement.

If you're Michael Jordan, why on earth would you want to get married again?

Love? Please. You can be in love without having to put your name on what has become a meaningless piece of paper.

You'll make this one sign a pre-nup? Big deal. There are lawyers who do nothing else for a living other than beat pre-nups.

I tell you this: If my Roberta ever dumps my sorry behind, I won't ever get married again.

And I only have about half the money MJ does.

Today's High Five: Bad News Bears, Tebow's Troubles, Hall of Fame & More

2011-12-26T10:46:00.000-08:00

5. Well, Josh McCown wasn't awful against the Packers. And people say I'm negative about the Bears!

Actually, McCown was significantly better than anybody could have thought he'd be, given that he was an assistant high school football coach down here in North Carolina just a few weeks ago. His first interception was RB Kahlil Bell's fault and his second came on a heave with the Bears hopelessly behind.

All this makes me believe that if Jerry Angelo had given Lovie Smith a decent backup QB -- or if Smith had recognized earlier that Caleb Hanie was a lost cause -- the Bears might have won a couple of those games they lost and might not be playing next week just for funsies.

As for Bell, yes, he looked good running the ball against the Packers. But for those who think the Bears would have beaten the Broncos if only Bell had gotten the ball instead of Marion Barber ... you must have very short-term memory loss.

In addition to failing to block Clay Matthews (resulting in the aforementioned INT), Bell fumbled twice against the Packers, including once on the goal line. In other words, very Barber-like screwups.

Put it all together and it's pretty obvious that the loss of Matt Forte, not Jay Cutler, was the more fatal blow to a team that had little margin for error.

4. Got the presents I wanted: brass knuckles and nunchucks. Now I can go beat the hell out of people to steal their new Air Jordans. Happy Holidays!

3. I'll really be impressed with Chris Paul if he can lead the Clippers past the first round of the playoffs ... because it will mean he will have overcome Vinny Del Negro's coaching.

In other NBA news ... if you thought the Heat looked unbeatable in their season-opening smackdown of the Mavs, just wait until they get Eddy Curry healthy!

2. Finalized my Hall of Fame ballot: Barry Larkin, Tim Raines and Jack Morris.

My reasoning on Larkin and Raines was detailed in my previous post. As for Morris, I know he's borderline but I've voted for him in the past because of his performance in the 1980s and his postseason record, so I'm not going to deprive him now that I'm starting to think more about his shortcomings.

1. With his long wind-up, telegraphed deliveries, uncertainty in the passing game and extended stretches of horrid play, Tim Tebow still looks like more of a novelty act than an NFL quarterback.

John Elway's initial feeling that the Broncos wouldn't be able to build around Tebow was spot-on. If he follows through on his more recent, more emotional statements that Tebow is the long-term answer, Elway will regret it. As will Denver fans.

Mulling Hall choices

2011-12-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of sorting out my Baseball Hall of Fame ballot. It's the calm before the storm, so to speak, a year after Bert Blyleven finally got in and a year before a bunch of juicers hit the ballot.

There aren't any slam-dunk choices such as Robbie Alomar from last year. I'm considering only 8 former ballplayers -- there will be no Mark McLiar or Rafael Palmeiro on my ballot -- and each offers about as many cons as pros.

JEFF BAGWELL was a very good player for a very long time. His .948 OPS ranks 22nd all-time. But 449 HRs don't seem like quite enough for a first baseman, especially one from the Steroid Era, and he had poor postseason numbers for some talented Astro teams that might have made some noise had their best player come through. When I look at 1B stats, how do I choose Bagwell but not choose Fred McGriff? And I'm not choosing Fred McGriff.

BARRY LARKIN is one of the best shortstops I've seen: good glove, tough out, nice pop in his bat, extremely efficient baserunner, and by all accounts a good leader and solid citizen. Among SS from his era, he ranked in the top four in most offensive categories (along with Jeter, A-Rod and Ripken). Judged as a SS, he belongs in the Hall. Judged by numbers relative to all players, he falls short. He's a great example of a borderline case.

EDGAR MARTINEZ was a DH just about his entire career. That alone doesn't eliminate him in my book but it means he must be exemplary otherwise. His career numbers pale in comparison to those of, say, Frank Thomas. Throw in the steroid rumblings, and I'll pass.

JACK MORRIS was the best pitcher in the 1980s, a nasty sumbitch who ate up innings and mostly excelled in big games. But he had neither a spectacular winning percentage nor an overly impressive ERA. I have voted for him in the past and now wonder if my coverage of the 1991 World Series weighed too heavily on my decision. Serious reconsideration going on inside my bald dome.

DALE MURPHY was a two-time MVP with good career numbers, but he falls short when compared to others of his era. He didn't dominate as long as Jim Rice, wasn't as good all-around as Andre Dawson, wasn't as intimidating as Dave Parker, didn't hit 400 HRs despite playing in a bandbox, batted only .265, and was decent-to-lousy statistically in his final six seasons as he hung around and compiled relatively meaningless career stats.

TIM RAINES is an interesting candidate because of his unique status as one of the best leadoff men ever. He was not Rickey Henderson, to be sure, but most of his stats are better than those of Lou Brock. I love this from ESPN's Jayson Stark: Raines reached base more in his career than Tony Gwynn did and had an almost identical on-base percentage; every eligible player who reached base as many times as Raines did and had as high an on-base percentage is in the Hall. I didn't vote for him in the past but I've really taken a close look at some of his more detailed numbers and am giving him more consideration this time.

LEE SMITH had lots of saves. But when you think of dominant relievers, you just don't think of him. Maybe it's because he put up his numbers just as saves became less-meaningful, one-inning stints ... or maybe it's because he played on lots of bad teams. Any closer I vote for must be in the Gossage/Fingers/Sutter/Rivera mold ... and Smith wasn't.

ALAN TRAMMELL was to the '80s what Larkin was to the '90s. Larkin has the edge in most stats, however, including pretty decisive edges in OPS, SB, batting average and runs. If I'm choosing only one SS on my ballot, I can't see how I'd choose Trammell over Larkin.

I'm leaning strongly toward putting check marks next to the names of Larkin and Raines. I'm less enthusiastic about Morris, but haven't eliminated the possibility. The others weren't Hall of Famers in my book.

I'm going to think this through a little more over the weekend before sending in my ballot.

My contract demands would be too high anyway

2011-12-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

Josh McCown was an assistant high school football coach until just before Thanksgiving, when the Bears -- desperate after Jay Cutler got hurt -- called him, auditioned him and signed him.

And now, due to Caleb Hanie's abject failure as Cutler's replacement (once again, everybody loves the backup QB until he actually has to play!), McCown is Chicago's starting quarterback.

McCown's first assignment is merely a Christmas night game in Green Bay on national television against the NFL's best team. He'll be playing behind one of the league's most porous offensive lines and without several injured teammates, including stud tailback Matt Forte.

Given a similar situation, I would have to think twice if some NBA team wants to pluck me from the ranks of assistant junior-high basketball coach.

Back after 8 days (plus 1) in paradise

2011-12-20T19:22:00.001-08:00

Just spent 9 days in the U.S. Virgin Islands with Mrs. Baldest Truth (yep, that's what it says on the wedding license). It was supposed to only be 8 days, but one of the engines on what was supposed to be our airplane home was D.O.A., so we got an extra day of vacation on U.S. Airways' dime.

Although it was pretty stressful having to stick around on somebody else's schedule -- not to mention having to extend puppy-sitting for Simcha and my wife having to miss a day of work -- I must admit there are worse places to be stranded than St. Thomas.

We spent most of our trip on St. John and would highly recommend it as a fun, relaxing, beautiful vacation spot.

Highlights included two days snorkeling at numerous wonderful beaches; a stunning (and tiring) hike that ended on a hilltop from which we could see an endless expanse of the Caribbean Sea; a day soaking in the sun at St. Thomas' magnificent Magens Bay; some outstanding food; and lots of laughs and relaxation.

Oh, and it was sunny and between 81 and 85 pretty much every day.

The lowlight: I caught a cold that sidelined me one day; we just hung around the pool and beach at our hotel.

As fun as the trip was, it was good to get home (even if it was 24 hours late). And it was especially great to pick up our pup, who was very happy to see us. It's nice to be missed!

Maybe I should have mentioned the Gipper

2011-12-15T07:25:00.000-08:00

Going into our last game before winter break, my Lady Bucs had a three-game losing streak. We were starting poorly almost every game, and while we were showing a lot of fortitude by rallying most times, we still were a disappointing 2-4.

Something had to change.

Just to try something different, I asked our head coach if I could give the speech before our game against Charlotte Latin. She said OK.

It was my first-ever inspire-the-troops opportunity, and I had no idea if I would get another. So I went for the gusto.

In my most forceful voice and looking each girl in the eye, I talked about the Country Day-Latin rivalry. I talked about the need for each girl to be able to look herself in the mirror after the game knowing she had left everything on the floor. I talked about how we were going to swarm them with our press right from the start, leave them dazed and take control immediately. I told them that our 3-game losing streak was history and this would be the start of a long winning streak. I told them how proud I was of them. I told them this was their time.

"Who is going to dive to the floor for loose basketballs?" I asked.

"We are!" they shouted.

"Who is going to crash the boards and grab every rebound?"

"We are!"

"Do we want this game?"

"Yes!"

"Do we want this game?"

"Yes!"

At the end of the 4-minute speech, the girls gave a rousing cheer and stormed out of the locker room with a fire never before seen.

We then fell behind by 8 points after one quarter and by 12 at halftime before rallying to lose by 7.

We actually didn't play all that poorly, just couldn't make any shots in the first half. Layups, short jumpers, put-backs, free throws ... we missed them all.

Which goes to show that no matter how pumped up athletes are, they still need to execute and the coaches still need to strategize and the shots still need to fall and, well, a little luck wouldn't hurt, either.

So now we have a four-game losing streak and a 2-5 record. Come Jan. 4, we'll try to do better.

Be careful what you ask for, Prince Albert

2011-12-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

It's easy for me to say -- because I'm not the one looking at all of those zeroes and commas -- but I like to think I would have accepted outlandish money to be a hero in the baseball bastion that is St. Louis rather than gone for ultra-outlandish money to be a mercenary in the mall-land that is Anaheim.

Nobody should begrudge Albert Pujols his millions. If any ballplayer has "earned" a $254 million payday, it is this man, one of the great hitters of this or any generation.

Still, when you're going to get some $200 million over 10 years, as the Cardinals reportedly offered, it's hard to imagine why that extra $54 million really matters to one's bottom line.

I mean, if your best friend buys you a $2.00 present, are you going to dump him because some other guy tried to buy your friendship with a $2.54 gift?

One might say it's not the same but I say it's exactly the same. Once you get to $100 million or $150 million or $200 million, every million might as well be a penny. Especially when you've already raked in well over $100 million, as Albert has so far in his career.

You can't spend it in 10 lifetimes unless you're an idiot or Michael Jackson.

Bottom line:

If you love St. Louis as you say you do, if you cherish your teammates as you claim, if you are comfortable with management as you insist, if you can win championships as you obviously can given 2006 and 2011 ... why not settle for a mere $200 million and emerge as the altruistic hero who sacrificed money for love?

Why sell yourself to the highest bidder and start all over again in a city where Mickey Mouse is king and baseball is a shoulder shrug?

As for the Cardinals, they eventually might be thanking their lucky stars that they didn't sign a 32-year-old man to a 10-year contract.

They now have a lot of money available to plug a lot of holes. Or they don't have to spend all that money as long as they have their typically solid 25-man roster ... and then they don't have to raise ticket prices for the self-appointed "greatest fans in baseball." Crazy thought, I know.

Had Albert Pujols continued to excel for a few years in St. Louis and then gradually faded as he aged, fans there would have forgiven him and kept applauding him for his past exploits.

Just look at Mark McGwire.

As his body broke down from all the 'roids he ingested over the years, Saint Looie fans still paid to see him take his hacks, still cheered every time his name was mentioned. After he retired, when pretty much everybody knew he had been a juicing cheat, Cardinal Nation stuck up for him. And when Tony La Russa brought him back to be the hitting coach after he had been exposed, all was forgiven. McLiar was treated like St. Louis royalty.

Believe me, he wouldn't have been forgiven so easily in southern California.

Maybe Albert figures that extra 50 million bucks will buy him a nice shield from any future scorn. Not to mention a few of the giraffes, zebras and unicorns that might still be grazing at Neverland Ranch.

Today's High Five: The Donald, Santo's Hall Call, "LeBron" Buehrle and Blago's plight

2011-12-07T19:12:00.000-08:00

5. Just the other day, I turned to my wife and said: "The only thing that could make this GOP presidential deal into any more of a dog-and-pony show would be if Trump put himself back in the thick of it."

Bingo!

4. My old friend, Ron Santo, finally got the Hall call. Obviously, it's several years too late, but there is something comforting knowing that now, he really is immortal.

3. Of course, that now means the 1960s-era Cubs had four Hall of Famers (and numerous other outstanding players) yet still somehow avoided even sniffing an NL pennant. Pretty amazing.

2. Pretty surprising that Mark Buehrle didn't use an hour-long ESPN special to announce he was taking his talents to South Beach.

1. Any time I'm feeling a little down, I'm just gonna think about Blago behind bars, looking effin' golden to his fellow inmates.

If that won't cheer me up, nothing will.

Marquette saves my day

2011-12-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

After my Lady Bucs were annihilated, our third straight loss, it sure was nice of my beloved (and undefeated) Marquette Golden Warriors to rally for a dramatic, thrilling, fun victory over Washington at Madison Square Garden.

Thanks, fellas. I needed that.

Today's High Five: Excuses are for losers ... and so is the BCS

2011-12-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

5. I hate it when athletes, coaches and teams make excuses. I especially hate injury excuses.

The Packers won the Super Bowl last season despite a dozen important players being out with injuries. That being said ...

Aaron Rodgers wasn't one of the injured Packers.

It would seem there are injuries, and there are facts.

Fact is, the Bears are toast without Jay Cutler. Not because Cutler is a great QB but because Cutler sometimes plays great -- and because the only other option is a never-will-be named Caleb Hanie. (Which, naturally, is Jerry Angelo's fault for generally mismanaging the most important position in pro sports.)

And now, RB Matt Forte -- unquestionably the team's MVP -- is out up to a month with a knee injury.

The Bears were a flawed team with little margin for error. They managed to win 7 of their first 10 games thanks to defense, the kicking game and just enough offense led by Forte and Cutler. They are 0-2 since Hanie had to take over for Cutler, including Sunday's 10-3 home loss to a terrible Kansas City team.

OK, those are the facts. Even a skeptic such as myself should be able to differentiate between such cold facts and common, everyday excuses, right?

Well, that terrible KC team was being quarterbacked by a never-will-be named Tyler Palko because their starter, Matt Cassel is out.

Meanwhile, the playoff-bound Texans are 2-0 since starting QB Matt Schaub and backup Matt Leinert got hurt, with third-stringer T.J. Yates at the helm.

If the Bears can't beat a Palko-led Chiefs team at home, they weren't good enough to matter, anyway.

4. The notable thing wasn't Tiger Woods finally winning a tournament, because it was a limited-field event that he stages for himself and his pals. For me, the big thing was the camera shot of Tiger lining up the winning putt ... with TV viewers getting a clear view of his Ping putter.

Swoosh be damned!

3. Even when Rodgers and the Packers clearly aren't at their best, they are amazing.

They will win the rest of their regular-season games, and I see absolutely no way an NFC team beats them in Green Bay during the playoffs. That means New England, Pittsburgh or maybe Baltimore will have to do it in the Super Bowl.

2. Of course, the biggest victory of the weekend involving a team from the Land of Cheese and More Cheese was ...

Marquette 61, Wisconsin 54.

My wife and I watched the game at a Charlotte establishment with several other MU alums and it was a joy to behold.

Despite playing without their starting point guard and despite getting almost no production from standout forward Jae Crowder, who was in foul trouble throughout, our Golden Warriors dominated every aspect of the game and led almost from tip to horn.

This is the deepest, most athletically dynamic team Buzz Williams has had at Marquette, and I have a feeling I'm going to be thrilling (or boring) you many times this season with tales of their exploits. Deal with it!

1. For the sixth straight year, I will not be watching one second of any of the meaningless exhibitions masquerading as college football from now until early January.

I call it Boycott College Sham.

Not the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, featuring Illinois and UCLA teams that have a combined 12-13 record and have fired their coaches; not the Pinstripe Bowl, which will take place on what's sure to be a sunny Dec. 30 day in the Bronx; not even the Beef O'Brady's Bowl, which by name alone should humiliate participants Florida International and Marshall.

And certainly not the mythical championship game, in which LSU gets another chance to beat an Alabama team that has no more of a claim to this spot than any of a half-dozen other squads.

This is not to hate on 'Bama. It might be one of the top two teams ... and it might not be. We simply cannot know as long as the BCS is allowed to exist.

I know my one-man protest means nothing. Hell, it meant nothing even when I had a real voice as a newspaper columnist and enlisted a few followers.

It just makes me feel good not to be party to a system that rewards hypocrisy, stupidity, rigidity and mediocrity.

Over and out for the Cain Train

2011-12-01T09:20:00.000-08:00

It was fun while it lasted but it's officially over for Mr. 9-9-9.

No, Herman Cain has not announced yet that he's ending his never-had-a-chance bid for the GOP presidential nomination, but he has said this:

"It ain't over till it's over."

Which, of course, is the death knell.

Ever since Yogi Berra said that (or at least was reputed to have said that), a zillion other underdogs have uttered that mumbo-jumbo.

Alas, a zillion out of a zillion times, there was no comeback.

Good rule of thumb: As soon as somebody says "It ain't over till it's over," you know for certain that it's over.

Herman was good for a laugh, but he can now return to reality. Which, he might tell you, is nowhere near Libya.

Stevie Johnson = clown; Caleb Hanie = dud

2011-11-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

My favorite sports story from the weekend has to be Bills receiver Stevie Johnson catching a TD pass, doing a celebration that mocked convicted felon Plaxico Burress and then suffering the consequences.

First, Johnson was penalized 15 yards for his silliness, a penalty that directly led to a Jets TD -- by Burress, no less.

Then, with the Bills desperately trying to drive for the winning score, Johnson dropped a perfectly thrown long pass that hit him right in the hands.

Finally, with one last chance to redeem himself, Johnson failed to make what would have been a very nice play on a catchable ball in the end zone.

Karma is a bitch.

Oh, and Johnson later said that when he pretended to shoot himself in the leg, he really wasn't trying to mock Burress' infamous nightclub-gun-fun episode. Oy.

Look, I like TD celebrations. Many are fun and clever -- and most are no more disruptive or planned than the Lambeau Leap.

If you're gonna do them, however, you have to own them. You can't later deny your intentions. More than anything else, you have to be good enough to back up your actions with deeds on the field.

Little Stevie, as immature as his name suggests, failed on all counts.

----

And speaking of failing ...

For all those who really think the Bears would be better off without Jay Cutler, well, may I present to you ... Caleb Hanie.

NFL executives screw up sometimes. For example, nobody drafted Kurt Warner. Not many other QBs who weren't drafted at all even have played a down in the league, let alone been any good.

What I'm trying to say is that Hanie wasn't drafted for a reason.

I don't particularly like Cutler, one of the more overrated, overhyped guys in recent Chicago sports history. But at least he's got viable NFL quarterbacking skills.

Frankly, I'm amazed the Bears were able to stay as close to the Raiders as they did.

It's Turkey Time!!

2011-11-24T12:16:00.000-08:00

Politicians don't get to have all the fun. Jocks get to be turkeys, too, which is why I count down the top sports gobblers every Thanksgiving.

This tradition dates back to my first year as Copley Newspapers columnist, 1998, when Michael McCaskey had so mismanaged the Bears that his mommy took the team presidency away from him and demoted him to official Halas Hall gardener.

Since then, it's been one doofus, doper or downer after another: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron(2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004, an unprecedented back-to-back showing!); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010).

(You'll notice that from 1998-2009, most of those fine folks had Chicago connections. That's because I columnized and blogged mostly about Chicago sports during those years. Having moved to Krispy Kreme Kountry last year, the Turkey Countdown has a different look.)

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and one of the great guys I ever encountered in journalism.

And now for the countdown ...

10. WILLIAMSES. Rough year for Stevie, Serena, Hank Jr. and Ken. Oh, and last we knew, Ted's head was still frozen somewhere in Arizona.

9. TIGER WOODS. Remember when he used to ... I don't know ... be really good at golf?

8. RON ZOOK. Who's got next? Somebody? Anybody? Please?

7. DALE EARNHARDT JR. & JR HILDEBRAND. On the very same May Sunday, Earnhardt and Hildebrand put on a clinic on how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. With the checkered flag just seconds away, Hildebrand crashed into the wall, making a winner of Dan Wheldon at the Indy 500. Hours later, a half-mile from the finish line at the Coca-Cola 600 in Charlotte, Earnhardt ran out of gas as Kevin Harvick claimed victory.

6. ADAM DUNN. Arguably had the worst offensive season in baseball history. The only reason I say "arguably" is that the White Sox stopped playing their $56 million man the last couple of months, keeping him from putting up some truly eye-popping failure numbers.

5. JIM TRESSEL. Really? You really have to cheat to win football games at Ohio State? I mean, I'd understand it if Zook did it. But Tressel?

4. LeBRON JAMES. Selfish and clueless, he is a perfectly good representative on this list for all the millionaire players, owners, agents and lawyers responsible for shutting down the NBA. (Oh, and we're still waiting for him to start delivering those seven titles after taking his talents to South Beach.)

3. CARLOS ZAMBRANO. He's been a few cards short of a deck for a decade now, but the dude I call Cra-Z completely lost his mind when he threw at Atlanta batters because he couldn't get them out. Once just a bit quirky, Cra-Z has joined Milton Bradley, Phil Nevin, Kent Mercker, Dave Kingman and a select few others on the list of least cuddly Cubbies of the last 40 years.

2. JOSH BECKETT, JOHN LACKEY & JON LESTER. Booze-swilling baseball buddies put the "club" back into clubhouse. And the choke back into the Red Sox.

And now -- drumstick roll, please -- the 2011 Turkey of the Year ...

1. JOE PATERNO (& HIS FLOCK).

JoePa quietly passed the buck upon learning that a sexual predator was molesting kids right in his locker room.

When the allegations finally came to light years later, thousands of students protested -- not because kids had gotten raped on JoePa's watch but because Penn State fired the old ostrich who had stuck his head in the sand.

I'm not sure if this says more about our deification of coaches, our societal woes or the value of a Penn State education.

All I know is that JoePa is a doting father and grandfather many times over ... and if he had received word that one or more of his progeny had been molested, he wouldn't have just told his boss and then moved on.

Herman Cain, we hardly knew ye

2011-11-23T05:30:00.000-08:00

So I'm reading the McClatchy Newspapers account of Tuesday's GOP debate -- the 406th of 874 scheduled debates, I believe. And I'm reading about the foreign policy opinions of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul and Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann and Jon Huntsman. And then I get to the final paragraph:

Businessman Herman Cain and former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum also took part in the debate.

Kind of reminds me of the time I flew from Oslo, Norway to Goteborg, Sweden on a small prop plane with members of the 1994 U.S. Olympic hockey team. The player in the seat next to me was sweating out the bumpy ride when I turned to him and said: "At least people will cry about the loss of you and your teammates. The newspapers won't even mention me until the final paragraph: 'Also perishing was a sportswriter from Minnesota.'"

Yes, Mr. 9-9-9 has reached that level of insignificance. It takes a special kind of incompetence to fail so miserably in that field of knuckleheads.

Oh, and speaking of turkeys ... tune back in tomorrow for my annual Turkey of the Year countdown. More fun than a trip to Plymouth Rock!

Today's High Five: Tebow, Tiger and (who?) Sveum

2011-11-18T07:01:00.001-08:00

5. This whole Tim Tebow thing is pretty amazing. I'm not sure I've ever seen a situation in which a QB can play so consistently bad for so long and then somehow rally his team at the end.

But here's the deal Tebow's giddy worshippers might not get: This can't last. It just can't.

Either Tebow will develop at least some true quarterbacking skills, or he will not be able to play long-term in the NFL.

While acknowledging that Tebow has been impressive (in his own weird way) so far, I am at least a year or two away from admitting I'm wrong when I say I doubt he will be a standout NFL QB.

There's a reason the likes of Bobby Douglass and Tarvaris Jackson and Kordell Stewart didn't succeed over the long haul while Steve Young and Roger Staubach and Randall Cunningham did.

Either you learn to be an NFL quarterback and use your mobility to enhance those skills, or you become just another guy destined for those "remember him?" stories.

4. Tiger Woods isn't anywhere near "back," so I wish commentators and reporters would stop saying it every time he makes a spectacular shot or has a decent round.

We'll know Tiger is back when he wins a major. Period.

He judges himself by how he does in majors. Why should the rest of us judge him any differently?

3. Big win for my Lady Bucs, as we rebounded from our season-opening loss to handily defeat one of our archrivals, Providence Day.

Our defense was impenetrable in the second half, when we didn't allow a single point.

As I told the girls afterward: Nobody ever has lost a basketball game when shutting out the opponent.

2. Interesting that both the White Sox and Cardinals hired former players with no managing experience to replace World Series-winning skippers. Robin Ventura and Mike Matheny are born leaders, so it does make some sense.

It's a cool trend, and I hope it works.

1. In his first big move as new Cubbie Savior, Theo Epstein did something very different from his predecessors.

Jim Hendry and Andy MacPhail, feeling pressure from media and fans, always hired a big name -- a.k.a. "the best manager available": Lou Piniella, Dusty Baker, Don Baylor, Jim Riggleman. Each man had some good times but each ultimately failed.

Epstein could have pleased many fans (and followed the White Sox-Cardinals trend) by tabbing Ryne Sandberg. Instead, he went with a relative unknown, the beautifully bald Dale Sveum.

Then again, this being Cubbieland, does it really matter? They all come in full of life and they all go out in a figurative body bag.

After he fires Sveum in 2-3 years, I'll be curious to see who Epstein goes with next.

No lockout for Coach Mike

2011-11-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Rough start to the season for my Lady Bucs of Charlotte Country Day. I'm the assistant coach of the 8th grade girls basketball team, meaning I've moved up a grade and have most of the same kids from last year (but a different head coach). We played without last season's leading scorer, who is just now recovered from a concussion -- darn soccer! -- and we weren't quite able to overcome our turnover-filled, first-game jitters.

I do like this team, though. Plenty of good athletes who are very willing to learn and just a lot of fun to be around. They keep me young. Or maybe I should say youngish. (OK, I'm old. Leave me alone.)

Anyway, I know I hadn't posted in a while. I've been busy counting my money from all the income the blog brings me. Let's see ... where was I? ... oh yeah ... zero.

Which means I'm making as much in my writing career these days as most NBA players are.

JoePa had to go

2011-11-10T04:02:00.001-08:00

Has any college coach in history done more for his institution than Joe Paterno has done for Penn State these last five decades?

The school became famous during his tenure, he made "Nittany Lions" synonymous with success, he ran a clean program and he donated millions of dollars to the academic side of the university.

And yet ...

Under his watch, a heinous act took place repeatedly: an assistant coach's predatory sexual behavior. Because Paterno passed the buck instead of directly addressing the problem, numerous youngsters were scarred for life.

So when the truth finally came to light, JoePa had to go.

I applaud the Penn State trustees who summoned the courage to fire Paterno, denying the 84-year-old legend the kind of feel-good farewell tour that would have taken place over the next two months had he been allowed to resign at season's end.

As for the Penn State students rioting in the streets in protest of the trustees' decision, I wonder how they would feel if their little brothers or nephews or cousins were among the molestation victims. Grow up, kids, and learn an important life lesson: Everyone -- no matter how tall one's stature in the community -- must be held accountable for one's actions (or in JoePa's case, inactions).

Though we shouldn't dismiss the wonderful things Paterno did for Penn State and for college football, the sad truth is this:

He lost his chance to go out on his terms when he knowingly failed to protect defenseless children from harm.

Today's High Five

2011-11-07T05:50:00.000-08:00

5. It's never been more obvious that the NFL MVP is Peyton Manning.

How would you like to be paying big money for Colts season tickets this season?

And please ... I don't want to hear anybody say the Colts should try to lose to secure the draft rights to Andrew Luck. The Colts don't have to try to lose. They are quite accomplished at it.

4. Were I voting for guys actually playing this season, my midseason MVP ballot would read: Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers and Aaron Rodgers.

Followed (in no particular order) by Frank Gore, Calvin Johnson, Matt Forte and Matthew Stafford.

And then, finally, Aaron Rodgers.

3. Fox ran a graphic chronicling Tom Brady's comebacks when the Patriots have trailed or been tied late in games.

Um ... if the game was tied, how is that a comeback?

2. If you're like me, you're on pins and needles with this whole NBA lockout thing.

1. LSU coach Les Miles is right: His team's win over Alabama doesn't "prove" anything other than the fact that the Tigers have the upper hand in the SEC West.

The victory certainly doesn't prove LSU is the nation's best team. With the current system, there is no way to determine that. And, given the extreme limits of the BCS, there won't be any way to measure it come January, either.

It's just an opinion.

No matter who plays in the season's final game, it will be for nothing more than the mythical national title -- just as in the days when sportswriters and coaches chose the "champion" in polls.

At least back then, smart people didn't pretend something actually had been decided on the field of play.

Did Steve Carell take all the writers with him?

2011-11-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

Not a single chuckle, chortle or tee-hee-hee. And certainly no guffaws.

What the hell happened to The Office, which now just might be the least funny show on TV?

Kardashian dumping Humphries ... how gay!

2011-11-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

The reality TV wedding of talentless Kim Kardashian and NBA benchwarmer Kris Humphries earned the bride 18 million bucks. It also earned the groom endless humiliation, what with Kardashian having filed for divorce after less than 2 1/2 months of wedded bliss.

All I can say is thank goodness it wasn't a gay wedding!

Because that would have been a crime against the sanctity of marriage.

La Genius smart enough to go out on top

2011-10-31T15:13:00.000-07:00

I know several Cardinals fans who never took to Tony La Russa -- even though he won, won and won some more.

Even after delivering two World Series, La Russa was considered, by some, to be too brusque, too I-invented-basebally, too I'm-not-lovable-like-Whitey-Herzoggy.

Well, La Russa must be laughing at those folks now, at least a little bit.

La Russa announced his retirement just a few days after winning his third Series as manager ... and he has to know he'll be one tremendously difficult act to follow.

There simply is nobody in his league. Period.

He was among my least favorite managers/coaches to deal with during my years as a sportswriter. He took far too much offense at even basic questions. He always seemed pissed off at something or somebody. And his defiant streak -- such as when he refused to believe the body of evidence against cheating juicer Mark McLiar and then made McLiar the team's hitting coach -- was legendary.

Still, were I a GM, I can't say there is one man I'd hire ahead of La Russa should he decide to come out of retirement.

I don't particularly like him, but I like winning. And nobody in modern times has done it better.

Eleventh heaven for Comeback Cards

2011-10-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to the Cardinals, who now have won 11 World Series since the Cubbies last won one.

Oh, and six since the Cubs last appeared in one.

Not that anyone's counting.

Then there's this: The last two years have brought championship rings to Mike Fontenot and Ryan Theriot, the erstwhile DP combo of Lou Piniella's 0-for-the-postseason Cubs. They joined the likes of Mark Grace, Greg Maddux and countless others who only needed to escape Cubbieland to win the World Series.

But enough about what the Cubs aren't -- and haven't been for more than a century.

The Cardinals showed that if you have any amount of talent at all, it is a crime against your fans and all of Major League Baseball if you start selling off your ballclub piecemeal.

Jerry Reinsdorf should be jailed for larceny or treason or something for the way he quit on the White Sox in July 1997 ... and that is one of just dozens of examples.

It's a curious thing. Every season, every team that falls five or eight or 10 games out is urged by their own fans to trade top talent -- even though more than a third of the season still must be played.

Why? For the future.

We are a culture that hates quitters. Yet somehow, we try to frame this as: It's OK to quit today if it might help tomorrow. Weird.

Yes, in many cases it is justified. For example, the Pirates' annual salary purge makes sense because they simply don't have enough talent to overcome a deficit.

All too often, though, a team gives up way too soon -- depriving its fanbase of any shot at the kind of stirring comeback pulled off by these Cardinals, as well as this year's Rays, the 2007 Rockies, the 1978 Yankees, the 1969 Mets, etc.

It was a great World Series ... and I thank the Cardinals for making it possible by not joining the long list of quitters and losers.

A Series worth staying awake for

2011-10-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

The problem with the Cardinals and the Rangers is their games are so doggone boring!

And how 'bout that David Freese? After he dropped a popup that every Little Leaguer catches 100 out of 100 times, my wife turned to me and asked: "What the hell? Is the fix in?"

Nah, Freese was just setting himself up to be the hero two hours later. He trumped God, who apparently told Josh Hamilton he was gonna homer in the 10th inning. I wonder how much dough God lost on this one.

Oh, and for the record ... in the ninth inning, I thought the Rangers should have pitched to Albert Pujols instead of to the hottest hitter in the world. Lance Berkman made Tony La Russa's decision to bat him fourth look absolutely brilliant. Before we give La Genius too much credit, though, it should be noted that it took him six games to come to his senses and finally put Berkman in the Pujols-protecting spot in place of Matt Holliday -- who has killed the Cards with his bat and glove all Series.

I'm looking forward to tonight's Game 7. I just hope that FOX somehow can be convinced to show a few shots of Nolan Ryan in the stands. I mean, we've hardly seen any of those so far.

Cardinals in 7 still a real possibility ... if history is an accurate guide

2011-10-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

The last two times the Cardinals went this deep in a World Series, I had the honor of covering both.

In 1982, I was a puppy in the profession, just out of Marquette, working in Milwaukee and trying to nail down a full-time gig with AP. I had the great fortune of that being the one year the Brewers went to the World Series. What an assignment! The Brew Crew took a 3-2 lead, sending the Series back to St. Louis, where the Cards won two straight to take the title.

In 1987, I was still a relative youngster -- still had a rather robust head of hair, even -- and was the AP sports guy in Minneapolis. The Cardinals won Game 5 at home to take a 3-2 lead but in the visitor's clubhouse, the Twins were farting and drinking and acting as if they were in some kind of Beer League. It was their way of dealing with the stress and staying loose. They ended up going home and winning two straight at the Metrodome to take the title. To this day, I've never heard a louder crowd than the throng at the Metrodome when Kent Hrbek hit a go-ahead homer in Game 6.

So, if history repeats, the team going home down 3-2 wins whenever the Cardinals go this deep in a World Series. Which, this time, would be the Cards.

Once the rain stops, let's see if Tony La Russa doesn't out-think himself, if his pitching can hold up for two more games and if Albert can start earning the bazillions he is about to get on the open market.

Of course, the Rangers might have something to say about all of that, too.

I've got nothing against Tim Tebow, just the Tebow Hype Machine

2011-10-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

I was watching ESPN the other day and one of the talking heads (can't remember which one) asked another (again, can't remember) why so many people want Tim Tebow to fail.

That got me thinking ...

I often have poked fun at the incredible, cult-like loyalty Tebow's followers have for him and the amount of hype he receives. It's a stretch to say I want him to fail, but it is true that I always have disliked hype run amok.

I like to think I haven't taken those feelings out on Tebow himself. It's not his fault people love to love him and hate him and talk about him ad nauseum.

When I say Tebow doesn't have the skills to be a successful NFL quarterback, it's not because I don't like him. It's simply the same thing as when I said Dee Brown wouldn't be an NBA point guard.

Those are opinions based on my years as a paid observer. I get some wrong, too be sure, but that goes with the territory. A lot of NFL GMs -- who are paid handsomely to get 'em right -- get 'em wrong. That's why Tom Brady didn't get drafted until the 6th round, you know?

As a pro QB, Tebow was a great college QB. I still say he won't be an NFL star. Maybe in a few years, he will have proven me wrong.

Either way, I'm not rooting against him. I'm too busy rooting against Notre Dame!

Albert's other 3 games. Also: ESPN announcing follies

2011-10-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

The Bald Truth

Albert Pujols is one of the best hitters of any era. Any team would love to have him.

That being said, his World Series has consisted of one monster game ... and three others in which he went a combined 0-for-10. His Cardinals lost two of those three while scoring four total runs.

So let's be content with calling Albert merely great, and let's hold off on the comparisons to Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Joe Montana, OK?

The Balder Truth

The Fraudulent Illini started the season 6-0 ... and very well could finish 6-6. But hey, at least they're bowl eligible! Time to extend Ron Zook's contract another five years.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

It would be hard to find a more entertaining sporting event than Saturday night's Michigan State-Wisconsin game, which featured numerous amazing plays and ended with a desperation TD heave that required several minutes of replay reviews before the Spartans were declared victorious.

The game -- especially the finish -- was so fantastic that it's a shame normally outstanding announcers Brent Musburger and Kirk Hirbstreit fell flat at the end.

Musburger kept calling the winning play a "miracle," as if he knew firsthand that God was getting Sparty and the points over Bucky Badger.

And Herbstreit offered this meaningless drivel disguised as analysis: "It comes down to a battle ... to see who wanted to win the game more."

Does Herbstreit really think Michigan State wanted the game more? Do people really think the Rams wanted to win the 2000 Super Bowl more than the Titans but didn't particularly want it two years later when they lost to the Patriots?

Such a declaration supposes something nobody possibly could know. While meant to praise the winner, it's a ringing indictment of the loser: If only he (or she or they) had just wanted it more.

It's a cliche, it offers no insight and Herbstreit knows better.

I mean, how many championships did he win as Ohio State QB? What's wrong? Didn't he want it badly enough?

Letting his bat do his talking

2011-10-22T23:57:00.000-07:00

Bingo ... bango ... bongo. I guess this means Albert Pujols is forgiven for misplaying a cutoff throw and then not talking to the press.

Today's High 5: World Series & more

2011-10-20T23:52:00.000-07:00

5. If the Rangers win their three home games to take the World Series (or, for that matter, if the Cardinals win three straight on the road) and if Albert Pujols then leaves St. Louis as a free agent ... his final act in Cardinals white was his failure to handle a routine cutoff throw, a screw-up that cost his team Game 2.

4. As Pedro Martinez might say: Allen Craig is Alexi Ogando's daddy.

3. Once again, Tony La Russa used every reliever this side of Jason Isringhausen, Dennis Eckersley and Ed Farmer. This time, his mechanizations didn't work. Once again, Ron Washington spent the entire game standing on the top step of the dugout, constantly smacking his lips on something or other. This time, his Rangers prevailed. Managers, schmanagers. It pretty much always comes down to the players either doing their jobs or not.

2. The other day, TV picked up on Jay Cutler telling Mike Martz to go fornicate himself. Where was Cutler when John Shoop was running the Bears' offense?

1. Still light years apart on the main issues, the NBA's billionaire owners and their locked-out multimillionaire players have suspended negotiations -- jeopardizing the entire season. Basketball fans will be fine; college hoops is far more entertaining anyway. I'm much more worried that Cristal and Bentley sales will crater, dealing yet another blow to our fragile economy.

Mr. Prediction strikes again

2011-10-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

Cardinals in 7.

Which, given my track record this postseason, probably means Rangers in 5.

Fun with the Nadels

2011-10-17T19:32:00.000-07:00

^
Today was bittersweet: It was the end of the long weekend spent with Katie and Ben, who returned to Chicago after five wonderful, sunny days here with us in the Charlotte area.

Here we are at a music festival in suburban Pineville. (We're not claiming the gentleman behind us who seemed a little too happy to be in our family photo!)

One of the few negatives to living in North Carolina is that we don't get to see Ben and Katie often enough. So we have to make sure we spend lots of quality time with them when we are together!

Here's our 8-month-old puppy Simcha, who chilled in the back of our car after spending an hour running around with canine peers at a local doggie park. Lots of our family fun centered around our pooch, who really dug her "sister" and "brother."

We all get caught up in our favorite sports teams, the politics dividing our nation, the crud on TV, the drama at work, etc. All that really matters, of course, is family.

Welcome to Cubbieland, Theo Epstein!

2011-10-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

Andy MacPhail built two World Series winners in Minnesota, came to Chicago as the Cubbieland Savior and oversaw an absolute trainwreck before he was run out of town.

Jim Hendry was lauded for rebuilding the Cubs' minor-league system and then, when he succeeded MacPhail as GM, for pulling off remarkable deals. However, few top prospects amounted to anything, he banked too heavily on the likes of Milton Bradley, Aaron Miles and Carlos Zambrano, and he's now an ex-GM.

Lou Piniella, Dusty Baker, Don Baylor and Jim Riggleman were widely regarded as the best available managers at the time the Cubs hired them. That was especially true for Piniella and Baker, men with big personalities who had been big winners at previous stops. In short order, all four were sent packing -- not as Cubbieland Saviors but as miserable losers.

Rudy Jaramillo, often called the best hitting coach in the world, arrived in Cubbieland before the 2010 season. He has been a big part of two horrendous campaigns, and many of the hitters under his tutelage have regressed. Meanwhile, the Texas organization he left behind has become a juggernaut in his absence.

And all that happened only during my 16 years covering the Cubs.

For more than a century, Cubbieland Saviors have arrived with brilliant credentials and sterling reputations. And they have left with the baseball equivalent of toe tags.

OK, Theo Epstein ... you've got next.

Today's High Five - Lockouts and Lions and Bears, oh my!

2011-10-11T00:05:00.000-07:00

5. Now that's the Albert Pujols I remember.

4. How embarrassing for Jerry Angelo. The Bears GM makes Jay Cutler the centerpiece of his offense and then surrounds the QB with so many bad players Cutler doesn't stand a chance.

The Bears have had one of the league's worst offensive lines for years -- and this might be their saddest group of matadors yet. And if you google "mediocre receiving corps," the first 10 pages are about the Bears. (OK, that's hyperbole. Only the first 9 pages are about the Bears.)

Equally embarrassing: Offensive mastermind Mike Martz has absolutely no clue how to craft plays that actually might give Cutler a chance.

You know, if Cutler wasn't so unlikeable, I'd feel sorry for the guy.

3. It's mid-October. The Lions are undefeated. What are you gonna tell me next? That a black guy is one of the leading GOP presidential candidates?

2. All the great black and Latino personalities involved in baseball, and TBS honchos can't find a single one of them to put on their pre- and post-game show?

1. Unable to come reach a new collective bargaining agreement with its players, the NBA canceled the first two weeks of the season. Tens of fans howled in protest.

Cardinal Nation puts Albert's picture on side of milk cartons

2011-10-10T07:23:00.001-07:00

Hey! Whoever kidnapped Albert Pujols and replaced him with Alfonso Soriano:

The Cardinals very much would appreciate Albert's safe return to the middle of the lineup.

Taking a baseball mulligan

2011-10-09T04:28:00.000-07:00

I was 2-2 in my first-round baseball predictions, picking the Tigers' upset of the Yankees and the Brewers' triumph over the D-Backs but not the Cards' stunner over the Phils. I also missed on my Rays-Rangers upset choice. Time to reload for the next round ...

I'm kind of glad the Rangers won Game 1 of the ALCS because now I won't appear to be a frontrunner when I pick the Tigers to win the series in 7 games.

Meanwhile, things already have gotten interesting in the NLCS, with Brewers Game 1 starter Zack Greinke calling Chris Carpenter a phony and the Cardinals criticizing the Brew Crew for being too demonstrative after every hit or good pitch. Carpenter likely will seem all-too-real on the mound, so the Brewers might want to wrap up the series before Carpenter can start a seventh game. It says here they will: Brew Crew in 6.

Gotta go now and eat some more after having fasted for Yom Kippur -- or as one of my gentile friends used to call it: "Instant Lent."

Ciao. Or in my case ... chow.

Today's High Five: Michael Jordan, Quitter Palin, Brett Favre, Steve Jobs and more

2011-10-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

5. Back in 1998, NBA owners thought they had a deal with players in time to save the entire season. Then an influential block of players -- mainly, those controlled by Michael Jordan's "superagent," David Falk -- nixed the deal. The lockout continued until a desperately negotiated agreement was followed by a sham 50-game season.

Flash forward to 2011. NBA owners, saying they are losing so much money it would make Mike Tyson's head spin, again have locked out their players. Once again, the start of the season is in jeopardy. Once again, prominent agents are threatening to scuttle any chance of an agreement.

This time, though, it is Jordan -- now the Bobcats owner -- who is crying poor. He says he and other owners of small- and mid-market franchises can't accept any new deal that doesn't include major concessions from the players.

Hmmm. I wonder what MJ the player (and his bobo, Falk) would have said about such a demand from MJ the owner?

In a related note ...

My son Ben, a Bulls season-ticket holder, is thrilled the league has canceled its entire exhibition season because now he'll get a full refund for those fake games.

The way the NBA, NFL and NHL force fans to buy tickets to make-believe games is borderline extortion.

Of course, nobody (not even Gilbert Arenas) held a gun to Ben's head, forcing him to buy season tickets.

4. Too bad Sarah Q. Palin, queen of the cash grab, formally announced she isn't running for president.

She had as much chance of getting elected as I do, and the comedy value of her bid would have been priceless.

3. Rather than congratulating Aaron Rodgers for leading the Packers to the championship and becoming one of football's best QBs, Brett Favre told an Atlanta radio station that Rodgers "just kind of fell into a good situation" and should have won a Super Bowl sooner.

This from a guy who, despite having outstanding talent around him most of his career, won all of four playoff games in his last 13 seasons. (Rodgers won four playoff games last season alone.)

Now that you've finally gone away, Brett, please shut the hell up.

2. I'd consider joining the Charlotte branch of Occupy Wall Street if I could figure out exactly what Occupy Wall Street stands for. Seriously.

1. Steve Jobs, the Apple founder who on Wednesday succumbed to pancreatic cancer after a long and brutal fight, was one of the world's most innovative men. One of the wealthiest, too. Even with all that money and fame, however, he couldn't stay alive.

He was only 56 years old.

Rich or poor, famous or anonymous, brilliant or stupid, happy or sad, beautiful or ugly, funny or serious, good or evil ... Death simply doesn't care.

Death gets all of us, whether or not we "deserve" to be gotten.

I think I've been trying to live life to its fullest, but maybe I need to try a little harder.

Hank Williams and ESPN honchos share award for dummies of the week

2011-10-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hank Williams Jr. is a moron. His attempt to link Barack Obama with Adolph Hitler was so sad it was laughable.

That being said, what does his Monday Night Football intro song have to do with his politics? Does ESPN screen all contributors for their political views? If somebody at ESPN linked Rick Perry with Lucifer, would that person also be punished?

There is a time and place for political correctness. In this case, ESPN just looked silly.

Today's High Five - Weekend Edition

2011-10-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

5. Two impressive wins for Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder ... a ridiculous romp for Aaron Rodgers & Co. ... Bucky Badger delivering a most inhospitable welcome to the Big Ten for Nebraska.

'Twas one helluva weekend in Cheezland.

4. Ron Rivera will be a good coach for the Panthers. But really ... shouldn't the former Bears assistant have known better than to kick the football to Devin Hester?

Plain and simple: You do that, you deserve to lose.

3. I am sooooooo glad Dexter, the smartest and most fun show on television, is back.

2. With two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning Sunday, Curtis Granderson, representing the tying run for the Yankees, swung at a Jose Valverde pitch and hit a sky-high foul pop. It appeared the game was over. But with Tigers 3B Brandon Inge standing only a few feet away, catcher Alex Avila slipped on the on-deck circle and fell ... and the ball dropped harmlessly to the ground. Granderson ended up walking, bringing clutch hitter extraordinaire Robinson Cano to the plate as the winning run.

With rain cascading down, Valverde got Cano to hit a routine grounder to 2B -- and Ramon Santiago made the play, ending the game and sending the series to Detroit tied at a game apiece.

Had the Tigers been the Cubs ...

Santiago would have booted Cano's grounder, Valverde would have given up a walk-off double to A-Rod, and both dopey fans and media mopes would have blamed not Inge, Santiago and Valverde but a billy goat, a curse and a fan in the stands.

1. OK, Roger Goodell ... cut the shenanigans and put the real Lions back in the league.

MVPs (Mike's Value Picks)

2011-09-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

When the baseball writers decided to start giving out individual awards 80 years ago, there was a reason they opted to call it "Most VALUABLE Player" and not just "Player of the Year."

Anybody can look at stats and say, "This guy's the best." There is nuance in determining "value." I had absolutely no problem with Willie Stargell winning the 1979 NL MVP (actually, a tie with Keith Hernandez) even though Hernandez had significantly better stats. Voters decided that Stargell's value -- the way he willed the Pirates to a division title -- was more valuable than raw numbers. And they were right!

The BBWAA left it up to each voter to define value. I like that, too, because it nets a nice cross-section of votes. Some writers won't vote for pitchers. Some vote for the guy with the best stats. And many -- including yours truly -- believes the only possible definition of value suggests a player who brought both outstanding stats and outstanding intangibles to a contending team.

Despite their superior stats, I have a hard time accepting Jose Bautista and/or Matt Kemp as MVPs this season. While the guys I chose faced pressure every single day, Bautista and Kemp had the huge advantage of playing in few games that mattered in the standings. Their ballclubs stunk with them and their ballclubs would have stunk if they had suffered season-ending injuries in April. Where's the value?

The Bautista and Kemp backers often cite precedence: Alex Rodriguez, Andre Dawsonand Ernie Banks, among other players for non-contenders, are former MVPs. Hey, just because voters made a mistake in those seasons, it doesn't mean we should repeat that mistake now. Most years, my BBWAA colleagues have agreed with me.

Anyway, if I had a vote, here would be the MVP ballots I'd cast in 2011:

American League

1. JUSTIN VERLANDER. I know, I know ... he participated in barely one-fifth of his team's games. Well, this is why we can't just let stats dictate these things -- not that Verlander lacks amazing stats. Let's look past his sheer brilliance all season, especially in the second half as the Tigers ran away with the division title. Instead, let's look at the intangibles: Because Verlander saved the bullpen every fifth day, Jim Leyland had a full and rested relief corps at his disposal the rest of the time; psychologically, the team knew it would never have a killer losing streak because every fifth day a win was all but guaranteed; for the first two-thirds of the season, Verlander was the only starter who kept Detroit in the race; inspired by Verlander -- and relieved of the burden of carrying the team -- other Detroit starters finally came around and several went on to exceed expectations. And let's consider this hypothetical: If an average ballplayer (say, Coco Crisp) replaced Curtis Granderson in center field, would the Yankees have won their division? Almost surely. Now, if an average starter (say, Trevor Cahill) replaced Verlander in the rotation, would the Tigers have won their division? Please.

2. CURTIS GRANDERSON. Many associated with the team believe Robinson Cano actually is the straw that stirs the Yankees' drink. Still, Granderson had the stats of an elite player and benefited the players both in front of and behind him in the lineup.

3. JACOBY ELLSBURY. One of the few Red Sox who didn't choke down the stretch. Besides having 105 RBI mostly from the leadoff spot, Ellsbury steals bases and plays fine CF.

4. MIGUEL CABRERA. The AL's best all-around hitter had another banner season for Detroit.

5. ROBINSON CANO. His performance made up for A-Rod's injury-filled year and for Mark Teixeira's occasional struggles.

6. MICHAEL YOUNG. A big reason the Rangers survived injuries to Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz and Adrian Beltre.

7. JOSE VALVERDE. Forty-nine times, Leyland asked him to protect a lead. Forty-nine times Papa Grande came through. Pretty hard to ignore a guy with a 100 percent success rate.

8. JOSE BAUTISTA. Incredible stats, especially the first half. My definition of value, however, relegates him to this spot on my ballot.

9. CC SABATHIA. For much of the season, he had even less support in his rotation than Verlander did in Detroit's.

10. EVAN LONGORIA. While Adrian Gonzalez -- the midseason pick for this award -- was shrinking in the season's second half, Longoria was scorching: 24 RBI in August and 22 more in September, including the Rays' two biggest HRs in the wild-card clincher.

National League

1. RYAN BRAUN. I had a difficult time separating Braun and Prince Fielder. One could make a pretty good argument that with Fielder protecting Braun -- versus the likes of Casey McGehee protecting Fielder -- Braun saw far more hittable pitches all season. Still, Braun's statistical advantage in most categories gives him the edge.

2. PRINCE FIELDER. As I said, he helped make Braun's big season possible. Plus, he put up monster numbers despite opponents often pitching around him. He plays every day, hits the ball far and seems to have a lot of fun being the Brew Crew leader.

3. MATT KEMP. His Dodgers stunk, so I make no apologies for placing him here despite his great stats. You want precedents? Ted Williams batted .406 in 1941 and won the Triple Crown the following year; in neither season was he MVP ... and Matt Kemp is no Ted Williams.

4. ALBERT PUJOLS. His slow start contributed to the Cardinals having to play catch-up but he had 20 RBI in September to wrap up another impressive season and help the Cards rally to the postseason. There is no more feared hitter in the world.

5. RYAN HOWARD. I admit I'm not 100 percent sure he's even Philly's MVP, but he is by far the best run-producer on baseball's best team ... and that's gotta count for something.

6. LANCE BERKMAN. In addition to finishing with nice numbers, he carried the Cards while Pujols was all messed up and Matt Holliday was hurt. Slam-dunk Comeback Player choice.

7. ROY HALLADAY. Why Doc instead of rotation-mate Cliff Lee? Because Halladay is the tone-setter and acknowledged ace of a great staff.

8. JUSTIN UPTON. The top hitter on baseball's surprise team.

9. HUNTER PENCE. Did precisely what a guy going from a crappy team to a great one was supposed to do, taking advantage of more talented teammates by elevating his already high level of play.

10. JOHN AXFORD. Considered Jose Reyes here but he lost me when he took himself out of the season finale after one inning so he could preserve his batting-title lead. He might as well as told Mets fans who paid $100 a pop to go to h-e-double-Louisville-Sluggers. Instead, I'll give spot No. 10 to the Brewers' ninth-inning stalwart.

A few other awards:

CY YOUNG: AL -- Verlander (over Sabathia and Jered Weaver); NL -- Clayton Kershaw(over Halladay and Lee). Remember: Cy Young is best pitcher, not most valuable pitcher, and Kershaw was ridiculously good for the mediocre Dodgers.

ROOKIE: AL -- Mark Trumbo (over Ivan Nova and Eric Hosmer); NL -- Craig Kimbrel(over Freddie Freeman and Vance Worley). It wasn't Kimbrel's fault he was overused and had nothing left at the end.

MANAGER: AL -- Joe Maddon (over Joe Girardi and Jim Leyland); NL -- Kirk Gibson(over Tony La Russa and Ron Roenicke). Two obvious choices.

And before I wrap this up ...

LVP (LEAST VALUABLE PLAYERS):

AL: Adam Dunn ... by a landslide. He authored one of the statistically worst offensive seasons in baseball history: .159 BA, 177 K, .569 OPS. He was so bad that the White Sox -- who signed him to a $56 million contract -- benched him in favor of Triple-A kids in a desperate (and futile) effort to stay in the race.

NL: Derek Lowe. The diametric opposite of an MVP. Not only did Lowe lead MLB with 17 losses, he went 0-5 with an 8.75 ERA in September to make himself the one most responsible for Atlanta's historic collapse. All for only 15 million bucks. Now that's the true antithesis of value!

Who'da thunk it? Turns out that reality is the best Reality TV

2011-09-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a night of baseball!

Just remember one thing: While you are ripping into the Red Sox and Braves for two of the biggest choke-jobs in the history of sports, don't forget to give a big thumbs up to the Rays and Cardinals for their amazing finishes.

See, this is why we don't need no stinkin' reality TV. Sports is the original reality TV ... and it's 100 times better than all of the pretenders.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah ...

How about those Red Sox and Braves? What a bunch of freakin' chokers!

-------

And now the postseason predictions:

ALDS: Tigers over Yankees in 5 ... Rays over Rangers in 4. The AL has been weird all season, so why stop now?

NLDS: Phillies over Cardinals in 4 ... Brewers over Diamondbacks in 4. Going with chalk in the NL.

ALCS: Tigers over Rays in 6. Too much Verlander and Cabrera.

NLCS: Phillies over Brewers in 6. Classic matchup of pitching vs. pop, and -- surprise! -- pitching wins.

WORLD SERIES: Phillies over Tigers in 6. The best team prevails ... as long as the bullpen does its job.

Ozzie, Marlins: Be careful what you ask for

2011-09-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

So, how far into the 2012 season will Jack McKeon again become the Marlins' interim manager?

On another note, it's pretty hard to argue that Bud Selig was wrong about the wild card adding excitement to baseball.

Of course, I'm not saying those races are any more exciting than the Cubs' pursuit of a fourth-place tie with Pittsburgh.

Sox Nation deserves itself

2011-09-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

A lot of Red Sox fans say they can't root for the Yankees even though, in the slog for the final AL playoff spot, the Red Sox desperately need the Yankees to beat the Rays.

A lot of Red Sox fans are stupid -- and deserve to be fans of a team that's on the precipice of one of the great collapses in sports history.

Random ramblings: Rosie O'Donnell's figure or Michele Bachmann's mind?

2011-09-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

The last time the Brewers won a division title, I had just graduated from Marquette. As an AP intern in Milwaukee, I got to cover their run to the World Series. How long ago was that? Well, I had a full head of dark, thick, curly hair.

There are four unbeaten NFL teams. Three of them are the Lions, Bills and Redskins. Just as you predicted, right?

Mike Vick is accusing refs of treating him like a dog.

President Obama says all those doo-doo head Republicans have to stop the partisan bickering.

If Illinois is one of the nation's 25 best college football teams, Rosie O'Donnell is one of the nation's 25 sexiest women.

With Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant healthy again and reminding us how good they are for the undefeated Packers, the top sports story of 2011 had to be that Green Bay won the Super Bowl without them -- and a dozen other players who were hurt most of the year. Pretty much kills any excuse any team in any sport can make for having a lousy season. Forever.

If the president of the United States never had to think or talk, Rick Perry-Michele Bachmann would be just the ticket.

As impressive as the Cardinals' comeback has been, the Braves' choke job has been even moreso. It takes a special team to blow a 10 1/2 game lead in a month.

Tiger Woods has a new caddie. In less important golf news, Bill Haas won some tournament in which Woods didn't play.

Aramis Ramirez: good at compiling stats, money and losses in big games

2011-09-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

Aramis Ramirez is down to his final week with the Cubs because he won't consider staying for "only" one more year at "only" $16 million. Were I a Cubbieland denizen, I'd be telling him not to let falling chunks of Wrigley concrete hit him on the way out of town.

The Cubs will miss his hot streaks and his occasional big hits. I still remember a home run against the Brewers that probably paved the way to the 2007 division title. Such hits gave him a reputation as a clutch performer ... but the cold, hard facts suggest otherwise.

Stolen from the Pirates in July 2003, Ramirez unquestionably was Jim Hendry's single best acquisition. Still, while Ramirez helped that team win the division title, he went 1-for-9 with zero RBI in the last three games of the history-making NLCS flameout.

The following year, he put up excellent numbers and helped the Cubs contend ... before going 4-for-25 with zero RBI during a final-week collapse that was amazing even by Cubbie standards.

Ramirez had 100 RBI seasons in 2007 and 2008 but choked like a dog each postseason: 0-for-12 with zero RBI as the Diamondbacks swept the Cubs aside in '07 and 2-for-11 with zero RBI as the Dodgers quickly dispatched the Cubs in '08.

The operative number is ZERO -- the RBI total for the Cubs' main run-producer in those clutch situations. Not even an accidental RBI by fielder's choice or sacrifice fly to go with his cumulative .105 batting average.

Add in the slow starts that condemned the Cubs to early extinction in several years -- and pretty much guaranteed the firing of Dusty Baker in 2006 and probably Mike Quade in 2011, and you've got a guy who merits a $16 million salary about as much as I merit a statue commemorating my golf exploits.

My friend Paul Sullivan, the outstanding Tribune baseball reporter, wrote in today's edition: "Despite nine mostly productive seasons on the North Side, Ramirez was never a beloved player for one reason or another."

One reason might have been a perceived lack of hustle, as Ramirez often didn't run out routine grounders. Newsflash for Cubbieland: Albert Pujols almost never runs out routine grounders. I'm guessing fans will get over that character flaw should Prince Albert accept the golden throne at Clark & Addison.

The main reason Ramirez probably wasn't beloved: He has been not a winner but a "stats compiler."

At the end of every season, his numbers always have looked good. Such statistical compiling has contributed mightily to his personal compiling of dollars: more than $100 million in earnings (and counting).

And yet when the Cubs really needed greatness, when they needed their big-money run-producer to produce runs, where was Mr. Clutch?

He's 33, his body has been breaking down and he has a history of shrinking when the lights shine brightest.

I don't blame fans for thinking it's time for him to compile stats and money elsewhere.

Time for Ozzie to go - finally

2011-09-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

It was six years ago today that Ozzie Guillen gave me one of the best stories of my journalism career -- telling me that if the White Sox beat the odds to win the World Series, he might celebrate by quitting. The stress was too much, he said, and he was sick of being unappreciated by the fans.

He didn't need the job. He could walk away anytime. "I'll make more money signing autographs," he said, "instead of dealing with this shit."

The next day, when the shit was hitting the fan because of his comments, he could have claimed he was misquoted or his words were taken out of context. That's the course of action of many public figures, cowards all. Ozzie didn't do that. He told waves of reporters that he said what he said and he meant every word. I'll always be thankful for that.

Well, as everybody knows, the Sox went on to give Chicago its first baseball championship since women earned the right to vote. And, as everybody knows, Ozzie stayed. I'm glad, because he's one of the most fun, colorful, interesting sports people I've known. Chicago baseball has been better because he's been a part of it.

In the years since our interview, Ozzie often has resurrected variations of that rant: When he gets fired, so be it; he doesn't really need the job and the hassles that go with it.

You know what? The time has come for him to leave the hassles behind.

Change is good. Eight years as a manager for one team is a long time, especially for a bombastic guy with absolutely no filter between brain and mouth.

Ozzie has one year left on his contract and wants assurances from Jerry Reinsdorf that he will be allowed to stay in Chicago beyond that.

If I'm Reinsdorf, I say no dice. Two division titles in eight years -- and two losing seasons the last three years -- hardly gives a manager leverage to dictate terms. Especially when that manager has spent this season overseeing a disgusting display of ineptitude by a team expected to contend.

I wouldn't think this would be a tough call for Reinsdorf, who coldly and unnecessarily imploded his Bulls dynasty after the second threepeat.

Ozzie Guillen has accomplished a lot and has stayed true to himself in doing so. He even has outlasted -- by several years -- columnist-turned-criminal Jay Mariotti.

It's not as if he would stay unemployed for long. The Marlins supposedly want him, and he loves Miami. (The Cubs could do a lot worse, too, but Ozzie probably needs the fresh start of another city.)

OK, so he wouldn't be going out on top, wouldn't be quitting just after a World Series triumph, but he'd be leaving a pretty nice legacy behind.

And if you don't think one championship is much of a legacy, you don't know anything about Chicago baseball.

Today's High Five - Weekend Recap

2011-09-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

5. Syracuse and Pitt here, Texas and Oklahoma there ... more wild shuffling among major conferences and more talk of eventual "superconferences" of 16 teams or more.

It all seems rather silly because big-time college sport really needs only three mega-conferences:

Professional, Semi-professional and Amateur.

Sorry ... I know that's stupid.

As if enough schools could be found to fit the amateur category.

4. Lexi Thompson won the weekend's LPGA event. She was born in 1995.

Yes, 1995.

My electric toothbrush is older than she is. I'm serious.

3. Friday Night Lights had a nice run, and any sports fan -- or TV fan, for that matter -- who has yet to see show should rent its five seasons. That being said, Kyle Chandler, who was just fine as coach Eric Taylor, had absolutely no business winning the best dramatic actor Emmy over the likes of Steve Buscemi, Jon Hamm, Timothy Olyphant, Hugh Laurie or my choice, the amazing Michael C. Hall.

Even Chandler knew it, as he admitted when stunned by the victory. He hadn't bothered to prepare a speech because he felt he had no chance.

And while I'm on the subject ...

One thing we know for sure about the Emmys: At next year's Emmys, this year's Emmys won't win the award for best writing for a variety series. I actually felt sorry for the actors and actresses who served as presenters and had to deliver the pathetic, cliched, hackneyed, remarkably un-funny lines written for them. It was painful to watch.

2. The 2011 Red Sox seem determined to make the 2004 Cubs feel a little less choky.

1. On a day Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton earned exhilarating victories while Jay Cutler was pulverized in defeat, there are all kinds of NFL QB thoughts rushing through my chrome dome.

Cam Newton ... Wow! Another 400-plus-yard game. (And another heartbreaking Panthers loss.)

Tom Brady ... Ho-hum. Only a 400-plus-yard game. (And another routine Patriots win.)

Jay Cutler ... Called out his line after he got sacked six times. Hey Jay, it's not the linemen's fault they suck. You should have called out your GM and coach for giving you such sorry protection.

Tim Tebow ... The best darn blocking wide receiver on the Broncos' roster.

Aaron Rodgers ... Too good. Reminds me of Steve Young and John Elway after Young and Elway realized they could win mostly from the pocket. And no, I'm not the least bit uncomfortable comparing Rodgers to two Hall of Famers.

Kevin Kolb ... Please, please, please stop pronouncing your name "cobb." Or change the spelling.

Matt Ryan ... You don't think he's having a particularly good game; then you look up and he's got 4 TDs.

Mike Vick ... Spittin' blood like a pitbull on a bad day. (Sorry.)

Matthew Stafford ... How good can he (and his Lions) be if he can just stay healthy?

Drew Brees ... If he isn't the most fun-to-watch QB in football, he's in the team picture.

Tony Romo ... Finally comes through in the clutch, and with broken ribs no less. There's a good QB in there somewhere if those obsessed with America's Team will let him be more QB than soap-opera star.

Donovan McNabb ... Man, he got real old real fast.

Peyton Manning ... The NFL's MVP in absentia. With him, the Colts are championship contenders. Without him, they wouldn't win the new NCAA Professional Conference.

Bottom's up!

2011-09-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

Four weeks shy of my 51st birthday, I received an early present: a colonoscopy.

The procedure went well, with the doctor saying he discovered nothing scary health-wise. I was out for the entire time, no doubt dreaming of things even more lovely than a clean colon.

The 18 hours leading up to the event, however, were far less pleasant. There must be better ways to cleanse the system than drinking 4 liters of putrid chemicals; it seemed like a method from the 1930s or something.

But it worked, I guess, so why complain? Besides, it could have been worse.

I could have been forced to watch the Cubs.

It's called free market, not fair market

2011-09-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

^
The big story in these parts is that Bank of America, which is headquartered here in Charlotte, plans to lay off at least 30,000 workers in an effort to pad profits.

The person who made the announcement, CEO Brian Moynihan, has a pay package this year worth upwards of $9 million.

As a capitalist through and through, it pains me to say that this is Example No. 8,559 why the free-market system isn't always the best thing out there. Never has the disparity between haves and have-nots been wider.

As B of A boosts profits on the backs of janitors and bank tellers and secretaries and IT folks, those poor shlubs are left to wonder what Moynihan's portion of shared sacrifice will be. I mean, it's not as if he'll be giving up his taxpayer-subsidized private jet or his taxpayer-subsidized vacation home any time soon.
^

Today's High Five -- 9/11, tea party and lots of sports

2011-09-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

^
5. If you didn't know much about the tea party, you learned all you needed to know about it during one particular moment in Monday's tea-party sponsored GOP presidential debate:

Ron Paul was talking about personal responsibility (an admirable goal, of course), when moderator Wolf Blitzer presented him with an example of a 30-year-old man who chose to stop paying hundreds of dollars a month for health insurance. In Blitzer's example, something happened to the man and he needed expensive treatment in ICU. Would the man be entitled to hospital care? As Paul, a physician before he was a congressman, again tried to talk about personal responsibility, Blitzer interrupted and asked: "So you'd let him die?"

Several of the tea partiers in the audience shouted: "Yes!" or "Yeah!" and then dozens more clapped and cheered.

Paul then twisted uncomfortably as he avoided a direct answer. (Later, tea party darling Michele Bachmann also completely avoided answering the question, one of her favorite debate tactics.)

This was not a trick question by the "gotcha" media. This was an example of something hospitals face multiple times every single day: uninsured patients needing serious medical care. Currently, taxpayers foot the bill -- a hefty bill because neither market forces nor the government keep health costs low.

The tea party, remember, wants government out of the lives of every individual. Personal choice is the thing. Hmmm. I wonder if most tea partiers feel the same about women's reproductive choices?

(And let's not forget that the single loudest cheer at the first GOP debate came in support of Rick Perry's declaration that he was proud of being the governor who has executed the most criminals. Never mind that today's science has produced numerous cases of wrongly accused people on death row being exonerated years later by DNA evidence. Rick Perry and his ilk are not about to let science trump the pitchforks-and-torches emotion that fuels much right-wing dogma.)

4. An inordinate number of football fans, be they rabid followers or casual observers, actually believe Rex Grossman is one of the worst QBs ever. Please.

Statistically, he actually has been mediocre, with slightly more career TDs than interceptions and slightly more wins as a starter than losses. And he has had flashes of excellence.

When the Bears went to the Super Bowl a few years ago, they got off to a great start in great part because Grossman arguably was the league MVP that September. He went on to have several horrific games before making some big plays in two playoff victories and then playing poorly in the Super Bowl.

Grossman often makes stupid decisions but he does have some talent, as he displayed again in leading the Redskins to an enormous season-opening upset of the Giants with 305 yards, 2 TDs and zero picks.

Look, I'm not saying Rex Grossman ever will be confused with Peyton Manning, Dan Marino or the guy to whom he once -- ridiculously -- was compared, Brett Favre.

All I'm saying is that there have been hundreds of QBs worse than Grossman -- a disproportionate number of whom have played for the Bears.

3. The most interesting story so far this college season has been Notre Dame's ability to lose in the most inventive, exciting fashion.

2. Brave of tennis' governing body for coming down hard on Serena Williams, who repeatedly and unjustifiably berated an umpire during the U.S. Open women's final. The penalty:

A $2,000 fine.

Let's see ... 2 grand to Serena Williams is the same as how much to you and me? A penny? Maybe less?

In the famous words of John McEnroe: You cannot be serious!

(By the way, McEnroe might actually be a better TV commentator than he was a tennis player. And those of us lucky enough to have seen him play know that is a supreme compliment.)

1. I spent the weekend in Asheville with my wife. We took in some sights, did a lot of walking, ate well, enjoyed a beverage or three and just enjoyed each other's company.

The subject of the 10th anniversary of 9/11 did come up, but we didn't talk about it much.

Some would label me unpatriotic for admitting this.

Fact is, just as I don't wait until my wedding anniversary to think about how much I love my wife, I don't need the anniversary of a terrorist plot to make me remember that horrible day or to think about how lucky I am to be an American.

I feel for the thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people affected by the events of 9/11/01. The best way to honor their memory would be by fixing what ails our country now.
^
^

Snow job by the prez? Perhaps, but other side's not getting people working either

2011-09-08T23:33:00.000-07:00

^
I liked most of the ideas in President Obama's jobs speech, and I liked his delivery, but ...

I had to laugh at the make-believe accounting he must have been using to guarantee the American public that the initiatives actually would be fully paid for.

Sometimes I wonder if he believes what he's saying.

Then again, even if you hate Obama, hate the Democrats and hate everything the president had to say, can you show me a credible job-creating suggestion made by anybody from either side of the aisle?

And no, cutting taxes for huge corporations in hopes that they use those savings to hire people -- instead of to pay their CEOs more and to line their pockets -- isn't the least bit credible.
^

The Scorecard (were the Republican presidential debate the first round of a long golf tournament)

2011-09-07T22:56:00.000-07:00

^
MITT ROMNEY -2

He had the most to lose, having been surpassed by newcomer Perry in just about every poll, but he was reasoned, reassuring and most Reagan-like. He did a decent job of reassuring conservatives while establishing himself as a viable choice for independents in the general election. He didn't card a spectacular score -- he was no Tiger or Jack -- but he avoided double-bogeys, even when the subject was Romneycare, and had a couple of nice birdies.

NEWT GINGRICH ... JON HUNTSMAN ... HERMAN CAIN ... RICK SANTORUM Even

Gingrich started poorly -- all but coming out and saying he'd refuse to debate because he wanted to take on Obama, not his fellow Republicans -- but he rallied by making several good points on the economy. Huntsman seemed likable, mature and knowledgeable, and he nicely hammered home his record as Utah governor (a point nobody challenged). Cain quickly made solid conservative points, especially his 9-9-9 tax plan. Santorum stuck to the issues and sounded both compassionate and conservative. Unfortunately for these men, each entered the night so far off the lead he needed to shoot a course record just to get back in the running. Par wasn't nearly enough.

RICK PERRY +1

Some pundits have declared Perry the biggest loser because of his intractable stance on Social Security and his admitted faux pas on his executive order mandating HPV vaccines for pre-teens. He also stumbled and looked shaky on a couple of answers. However, his job in these debates is to secure the GOP nomination, and it's doubtful that he scared off his base with this performance.

RON PAUL +3

I want to like Ron Paul. I do like a lot of what he says, especially about the idiocy of using our troops for nation-building thousands of miles away from home. But he came across as desperate and more than a little wacky. His accusation that some TSA agents are practically sexual predators was precious, though.

MICHELE BACHMAN +5

She was asked six questions and answered only two of them -- and one of those answers came only after the moderator repeated his question and demanded she answer. Frankly, she seemed out of her league, and this after such a strong performance in the first debate. With Perry now in the race, she quickly will be deemed unnecessary by her base. Too bad ... she's often such a fun sound bite.

Five more points:

1. It's early, yes, but based on what I know about the candidates right now, I could see myself voting for either Romney or Huntsman over Obama. I can't imagine any circumstance that would lead me to vote for Perry. And I like to think that I am the exact kind of independent voter the eventual GOP nominee should want to court.

2. Was it only me, or did it seem pretty contrived to invite the Telemundo reporter to ask the immigration questions?

3. I would have liked a question relating to Ronald Reagan raising taxes 11 times and the debt ceiling 18 times during his eight years as president. Is it possible that in today's GOP, Reagan would be dismissed as too far left?

4. It was refreshing that the debate avoided pandering to the religious right and that there was very little kowtowing to the tea party. Thank you, candidates.

5. Before the festivities, I watched The Colbert Report from the previous night. Stephen's guest was Tim Pawlenty, who was funny, intelligent, engaging, self-deprecating and confident. If only that Tim Pawlenty had run for president -- instead of the one who did a disservice to his own beliefs and to his admirable record as Minnesota governor by trying desperately to please tea-partiers -- he might still be in the race. How about Vice President Pawlenty on the GOP ticket? They could do a lot worse.
^

Golf on snooze control till spring

2011-09-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

^
NBC tried real hard to make viewers excited about a golfer moving from 75th or 81st or 93rd in the standings to 63rd or 66th or 70th so he could continue competing in the "playoffs."

Zzzzzzz.

Now that the last event anybody cares about (the PGA Championship) is long over, the only thing even mildly interesting about this season anymore is Tiger's return to the tour in something called the Frys.com Open next month.

Oh well ... wake me up in time for the 2012 Masters.
^

Today's High Five

2011-09-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

^
5. Headline you don't expect to see at Notre Dame:

Crist Benched.

I mean ... Jesus! ... is nothing sacred?

4. Cubbie closer Carlos Marmol said a seventh-inning rain delay was partly to blame for his troubles two innings later, when he gave up a hit, walked two batters and then served up Derrek Lee's go-ahead grand slam.

"I don’t make excuses," Marmol said, pausing for a second before making his excuse. "But the mound was a little slippery."

I guess the Wrigley mound must have gotten completely unslippery in the bottom of the ninth, when Pirates closer Joel Hanrahan retired the Cubs 1-2-3.

Lee had just come off the DL, where he had been since Marmol broke his hand with a pitch on Aug. 10. That led to this quote from Pirates manager Clint Hurdle, which perfectly summarizes why many of us prefer sports to real life:

"Isn’t it amazing? Sometimes in sports, you can’t write the script. The game plays out and gives you stories you never would have written up."

3. LSU's QB has been suspended for his alleged involvement in a bar fight. One of his top receivers has been suspended due to a possible NCAA infraction. And yet the Tigers shook off the "distractions" to beat Oregon in a rare Week 1 college-football battle that actually mattered.

One of my pet peeves about the media always has been the whole Distractions Thing.

What some of my colleagues obviously don't understand is that once the game starts, offensive linemen aren't saying: "I'd make this block but I can't stop thinking about our receiver." A Cardinals batter trying to get a hit off Roy Halladay doesn't have Albert Pujols' contract situation on his mind. When Kobe Bryant drives to the hoop, he isn't thinking about some goofy Ron Artest quote from four days earlier.

The game starts ... and athletes just play. If they were easily distracted, they wouldn't be high-level athletes.

2. Cubbie bum-in-the-making Tyler Colvin, batting .145, wants to be Adam Dunn when he grows up.

As for Dunn's team ... could there have been a better way for the White Sox to officially bow out of AL Central contention than by blowing a seven-run lead and losing to the first-place Tigers?

Thanks for pretending all season long, kids.

1. LSU's impressive win over Oregon took place at spacious, luxurious Cowboys Stadium, but I doubt LSU players spent any time daydreaming about their possible NFL careers.

You know, nobody likes to contemplate a pay cut.
^

Will Albert give St. Louis a hometown discount, meaning he'll only be able to buy one Maserati a month?

2011-08-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

^
There is only one month left in the baseball season. Is there also only one month left in Albert Pujols' Cardinals career?

I seriously doubt he'll end up with the 10-year, $300 million deal his agent supposedly wants. We already know he rejected an offer from St. Louis that was in the eight-year, $200 million neighborhood. (Nice neighborhood!) Pujols professes to love the Cardinals, the only team he has played for during his amazing 11-year career, but if the "hometown discount" he has in mind actually exceeds 25 mil a year, he just might have to find a new hometown.

The problem for Pujols -- if getting only $200 million can be called a problem -- is that his options are pretty limited. Not only are very few teams able to pay one player more than $25 million per year, but a younger (and less pricey) slugging first-base alternative, Prince Fielder, also will be on the open market.

So where might Pujols land? Let's look at some options.

CUBS

Remember how everybody was trying to make a big deal of that hug Albert shared with Jim Hendry? Well, Hendry has been banished from Cubbieland, so Albert obviously wouldn't be going there to get more lovin' from Big Jim. Stuck with several big contracts already (or stuck eating those contracts), would team chairman Tom Ricketts consider making a $275 million commitment to one ballplayer? Doubtful.

YANKEES & RED SOX

Sure, each always seems to be in the market for the best ballplayer available -- especially if each team learns that the other team wants that best ballplayer. But both already have huge money tied up in star first basemen. Would Pujols switch positions? At 32 (his age when next season starts), and with a gimpy arm, would you really want him at 3B or in the outfield? And would he want to be a DH after all those years in the NL? So unless the Yankees are going to trade Mark Teixeira or the Sox are going to deal Adrian Gonzalez, neither team figures to be serious players in the Albert Sweepstakes.

DODGERS & METS

These would have been true alternatives before both suffered serious financial problems. The Mets, especially, would love to steal the Yankees' thunder. They simply don't have the wherewithal right now to take the Pujols Plunge.

GIANTS

This one is intriguing. Would this pitching-rich, offense-challenged team take a run at a once-in-a-generation ballplayer who, if he remains healthy, could help them contend for the rest of the decade? I'd do it, but hey ... I've always been good at spending somebody else's money.

NATIONALS

They think they are on the cusp of greatness -- they do have lots of good, young players -- and they have been willing to spend money. They have some bad contracts, but Pujols certainly would help put fannies in the ballpark. The biggest question is: Would Albert want to start near the bottom after being with a team that contends most years? The Nats might have to blow away the competition, much as the Rangers did for A-Rod.

ORIOLES

Peter Angelos used to throw money around like crazy but after getting burned a zillion times, he's been reluctant. The O's have some nice talent and Angeles could be talked into thinking Pujols is the guy who'd let them challenge the Yankees and Red Sox. Angelos has quite the ego and also might enter the equation if he thinks the Nationals, just down the street, are serious. Again, though, even if the O's want Pujols, will Pujols want them?

PHILLIES

It's hard to believe I'm saying this about any team, but they really don't need Albert Pujols.

ANGELS

They desperately need a great hitter, but they are more likely to spend on medium-expensive ballplayers than on mega-contract guys.

RANGERS

Albert would love their ballpark, and he'd join a talented team that should contend for a decade. The owner who brought in a roided-up A-Rod is long gone, however, and new guy Nolan Ryan is going to have to pony up a lot of loot just to keep his team's core intact.

ROCKIES

Could they wave bye-bye to over-the-hill Todd Helton and bring in somebody who probably would use Coors Field to set the all-time HR record? They already have committed quite a sum to Tulo and Cargo ... so it's hard to imagine they'd bring in Pujo, who would make more than those two combined (and then some).

WHITE SOX

One often overlooks Jerry Reinsdorf in these things, but he has been willing to sneak in there and throw gajillions at great players. Lately, egged on by Ken Williams, Reinsdorf has been throwing gajillions at the likes of Alex Rios and Adam Dunn, so would he really be willing to spend so much more on one ballplayer? No way.

CONCLUSION

A few teams - maybe the Cubs, Orioles, Yankees, Red Sox, a couple others -- will put their big toes in the water before they decide the temperature is too hot.

The Nationals will make a serious run. If the Giants can find a taker for at least part of Barry Zito's remaining contract, they could be a factor.

In the end, though, it's impossible to believe that any team will want and need Pujols more than the Cardinals. And Pujols will realize he can be a St. Louis folk hero by settling for a mere $26 million annually over a nine-year contract.

What a country.
^

Missing Chicago ... and loving Charlotte

2011-08-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

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Hard to believe, but it's been a year since I became a North Carolinian. Mostly, it's been a positive experience, though I've missed plenty about my former home.

Which brings me to today's topic ...

FIVE THINGS I MISS ABOUT CHICAGO:

(*I'm not going to include the obvious: family and friends. Of course we miss our kids and the great friends we made during our 16 years in Chicago. That's No. 1 and 1A on any list!)

5. The skyline and the lake.

We lived just a few minutes from Lake Michigan and I miss those walks we'd regularly take -- although I don't miss trying to dodge bicyclists, skateboarders, rollerbladers and runners on weekends!

As for the skyline, we loved it so much that in 2004 we spent way too much money on a poorly built condo just because it had an incredible view. Thankfully, we got out just before the housing market crashed and spent our last few Chicago years in a 17th-floor Lakeview apartment that had a pretty decent skyline view of its own.

I don't know why, but I never got sick of looking at that skyline. It truly was awesome -- not the way the word is used today to describe everything; it really did inspire awe.

4. Milwaukee.

Yes, being able to get to Chicago's largest suburb in 90 minutes was a big deal for me. My little brother lives there. My alma mater is there, and I liked to catch a few Golden Warrior Eagles games a year. The best frozen custard on the planet is there ... I'm talkin' Leon's; don't settle for the chains!

Every time I go to Milwaukee, I have a good time. As a bonus, I get to experience great memories of all those brain cells I killed as a college kid.

3. Pizza.

I hate to sound like a pizza snob, so I cringe a little whenever a Charlottean asks what my favorite pizza joint in town is. But I can't help myself and invariably say something like: "Well, an average Chicago pizza place would be the best pizza place here."

What a pizza snob!

When we visited the kids last month, we went to our favorite -- Pequod's -- and I savored every morsel. I think I could get rich by opening a Pequod's South here, but maybe not. Maybe they are conditioned to mediocre (and worse) pizza in these parts.

While I'm on the subject of food, I miss those great South Side BBQ joints, the wide variety of ethnic food, hot dogs and other encased meats, and the hamburger place that was right down the street, Flub A Dub Chubs. (Maybe I just miss saying the name.)

2. Baseball.

Though neither Cubs nor Sox fan, I miss having a home game in my town every day from April 1 to Oct. 1. I miss the annual rite of passage: Cubbie Hope turning into Cubbie Angst and then into Cubbie Resignation. I miss the inferior complex on the South Side.

Oh, and I might as well say it: I miss the cash I used to make covering baseball for AP.

1. The city experience.

When we moved from Minneapolis to Chicago in 1994, we surprised ourselves by choosing to live in the city. I mean, we had even lived in the burbs in Madison! Chicago seemed to be such an intimidating place, dangerous even.

It wasn't always a perfect experience. I hated driving there so much that we went down to one car and often went a week without using it. We had two grills and three bikes stolen, reminding us that although we lived in a nice neighborhood, it still was a big city with big-city problems. Chicago politics was rife with corruption and bullspit. Winter sucked, with its howling winds and ugly mud-snow mix.

And yet, I wouldn't trade those 16 years for anything.

Our kids went to public schools and learned firsthand the ideals of tolerance and inclusion. Chicago was a living, breathing anthropology class.

We could walk to most things we needed, and we happily used trains and buses to get to almost everything else.

Then there was just the feel. Going for a walk (especially on a weekend) in Lakeview or Lincoln Park or downtown, one can't help but be impressed by the vibrancy of Chicago.

There were many days I'd take one of those walks with no destination in mind, just to experience that vibrancy, and I'd think: Wow, what a great town this is!

And now, let's give equal time to my new town ...

FIVE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT CHARLOTTE:

(*Again, this is in addition to the many friends we've made!)

5. Convenience.

It's nice to have a 2-minute drive to the grocery store. It's nice to live where the rush hour is normal. It's nice to have several parks and other natural areas near us. It's nice to not have to drive 45 minutes (or more) to enjoy a decent golf course.

Parking downtown is so plentiful and inexpensive, it seems quaint compared to the parking nightmare we left behind. And parking at the airport is $4 per night. That's right: 4 bucks!

4. My jobs.

It took a little while to find my groove in a new town, but both my coaching gig at Country Day and my golf job at Ballantyne Country Club have been all I could ask for.

3. Spring and Fall.

The way the trees get full and green by early March is spectacular. Fall weather here is perfect and golfing is great well past Thanksgiving.

Oh, and winter ain't half-bad, either.

Yes, summer is hot and humid, but I can't think of one thing I haven't done just because of the heat and the humidity. And it's not as if Chicago doesn't have heat and humidity, too.

If I believed in jinxes, I'd be worried about jinxing it. But I don't, so I'll say it: The weather in my first year in Charlotte actually exceeded my expectations.

2. Simcha.

As long as we lived in an apartment in Chicago, we going to be dogless. We planned to get a pooch when we got settled in our next house, wherever that might be. It didn't have to be in Charlotte, I suppose; we could have ended up in Chapel Hill or Phoenix or Sarasota. Still, Simmie is such a wonderful addition to our family, it almost seems we were destined to rescue her from the Charlotte shelter.

Lucky her ... and lucky us!

1. Our home.

Financially, it's hard to argue that buying a house was the right move. The market is still stumbling here and we probably could have saved thousands by waiting.

Owning a home shouldn't be about the investment, though. That's one of the things that got our country in a mess. A house is not an ATM or an annuity. It is a place to live, a place to go home to at the end of a long day, a place to be with your loved ones.

In addition to having everything we need on the inside, our house has a screenroom that overlooks our heavily wooded backyard. The deer walk past almost daily. We have tree buffers between the houses on both sides, adding to the peaceful feel. (That being said, we have great next-door neighbors!) Our street is quiet and well-located near a park.

Sure, having to mow the lawn and fix things and deal with the unpleasant surprises that crop up is a pain. Nevertheless, I'm glad my beautiful wife talked me into being a homeowner again, because the pluses far outweigh the minuses.

When we're ready to sell in 5 or 10 or 20 years, who knows if we'll even make money? We might lose money, but we were going to have to pay rent all that time anyway.

In the meantime, we have put down roots for the first time in years. Life is good.
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A Pearl of a decision by NCAA

2011-08-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

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3. Pathological liar Bruce Pearl says the NCAA made an example out of him when it penalized him so severely for his shenanigans at Tennessee that it will be years before he ever has a shot at another job.

I say: It's about effin time.

There is nothing worse than a coach getting a program in trouble and then moving onto another job -- often a better one. While the program he left behind takes years to recover, he cashes seven-figure paychecks.

Maybe if cheaters know they -- and not just the programs they leave behind -- will be punished severely, they won't be so bold in the first place.

Maybe.

2. And speaking of Tennessee basketball, that's an amazing -- and amazingly sad -- story about Pat Summitt. At 59, for her to be diagnosed with early-onset dementia, it only reinforces the idea that none of us should take health (or life) for granted.

Life ... death ... illness ... none of that stuff cares if you're famous or altruistic or happy or good-looking. Stuff happens to anybody anytime.

Summitt is planning to keep coaching the Vols, and I hope her assistants and players are ready to give her the support she needs. She deserves the right to keep doing the thing she loves, the thing she was put on this earth to do.

1. When Dick Jauron was in his final days as Bears coach, his few supporters argued that because the team didn't quit, he should get to keep his job.

I argued that not quitting is the minimum expected of every athlete, coach and team, be they hockey peewees or 350-pound NFLers. You don't get extra points for doing your job.

So when a team does pull a Sarah Palin, something that happens all too often in sports, it really is an indictment of the coach or manager.

Now, I'm not in Minnesota and I don't see the Twins every day. But I do see the scoreboard and the box scores. And it sure appears that team is mailing it in. Day after day, it's 8-1, 6-1, 7-1, 3-0, whatever. This with a team that includes former MVPs Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau in the middle of a lineup that also includes Michael Cuddyer, Jason Kubel and Jim Thome.

I've always respected Ron Gardenhire as a manager. He has done too good a job for too long to get fired after one year like this. But this is pretty damning stuff, and it certainly is something to watch for 2012.

As was the case in Cleveland, Baltimore, Pittsburgh and everywhere else that got a cool, new ballpark ... the cool, new ballpark draws fans for only so long. The team still has to win.

Or, at the very least, the athletes have to act like they care.
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Jered Weaver: Less money buys more

2011-08-24T06:49:00.000-07:00

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Once or twice a year, a ballplayer stares down his own agent and opts to stay with his team for far less money than he would have received on the open market. He immediately is praised lavishly as a wonderful human being.

The latest example: Jered Weaver, who told superagent Scott Boras to negotiate the best deal he could with the hometown Angels even if it cost the star right-hander tens of millions of dollars. Weaver ended up signing for $85 million over five years, probably half as much moolah as he would have gotten from the Yankees or Red Sox had he waited until he became a free agent after next season.

(Boras, who likes to squeeze every nickel out of every negotiation and wants to win the contract game, must be having palpitations over this deal.)

Said Weaver in what will be one of this year's most memorable sports quotes:

"How much more money do you need? I could have gotten more ... whatever ... who cares? If 85 million is not enough to take care of my family and other generations of my family, then you’re stupid."

If that doesn't make you want to root for this guy for the rest of his career, you're not human.

I don't blame every athlete for seeking as much money as he can get. Our society is all about supply and demand, and there is incredible demand for the very few great athletes good enough to be paid to play little kids' games. Plus, even a healthy athlete's career is relatively short. Weaver could blow out his elbow next week and never pitch again.

That being said, I'm surprised more dudes don't do what Weaver did.

Once the money gets to a certain level -- and I'd say 85 mil far exceeds that level -- it's all about ego. It's all about making more than the other guy "because I know I'm better than he is."

Well, instead of feeding his ego, Jered Weaver decided to stay where he is happy, comfortable and content.

Although he will earn more money than he ever can spend, he comes across as a class act, a loyal soldier and a good role model who gave a bargain to his team -- and, by extension, the ticket-buying public.

Talk about a win-win-win scenario.
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Shake, rattle and a little off with the roll

2011-08-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

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My wife asked me if I felt the earthquake today and I laughed. "Yeah, right." No, seriously, she said. I looked it up and, sure enough, the East Coast from South Carolina to Maine experienced the most powerful earthquake since 1944.

Well, that explains it. I knew there was a reason I missed all those putts.

The next time I golf during an earthquake, I'll make sure I factor that into the reading of the greens.
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Pryor knowledge: Another Tebow-like waste

2011-08-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

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Al Davis wasting a third-round draft pick on Terrelle Pryor wasn't quite as bad as Josh McDaniels wasting a first-rounder on Tim Tebow ... but it's right down there.

At least Pryor might help the Raiders at some position other than QB. The Broncos likely will never get any meaningful contribution from Tebow, who as a bad quarterback in mediocre linebacker clothing.

The NFL has changed a lot over the years, thanks principally to the 3 S's: Size, Speed, Strength. What hasn't changed is that a consistently winning QB must be far, far, far more than a great athlete.

Guys like Tebow, Pryor, Eric Crouch, Vince Young, Doug Flutie, even Michael Vick can't win merely because they can outrun people. For one thing, they learn the hard way that NFL linemen and linebackers are considerably quicker than those in college.

As for those who would say Steve Young, Roger Staubach and Fran Tarkenton proved that scramblers could win, well, those folks have selective memories.

Fact is, each quarterback was a great passer. Young, especially, was incredibly accurate. And each didn't become a big-time winner until he learned exactly when to deploy his legs at the right time.

Look at the list of Super Bowl-winning QBs. Look at which quarterbacks consistently help their teams advance in the playoffs.

They often were described as leaders, students of the game, great passers, coaches on the field ... not "athletes." The most nimble used their legs to buy time in the pocket, maybe to pull off a surprise run.

The majority of them would have lost a 40-yard race to Fridge Perry.
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First Hendry made Losers unlovable, then he lost his job

2011-08-19T19:03:00.001-07:00

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Among other accomplishments, Jim Hendry acquired Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton for next to nothing, convinced Greg Maddux to come back to Cubbieland, discovered Starlin Castro, gambled that Ryan Dempster could overcome a serious injury, turned Mark DeRosa into an everyday ballplayer, found a way to dump Sammy Sosa after El Corko had become toxic and twice hired "the best manager available" in Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella.

Revisionist historians will claim Hendry always has been a terrible GM, but the facts suggest he did lots and lots of good things, too.

In baseball, though, lots and lots ain't enough ... unless at least one of those lots is a pennant.

Given the team's slide to the depths of despair, Hendry probably should have been fired at least a year ago. His career likely was lengthened by the drawn-out ownership pursuit of Tom Ricketts, who understandably wanted to see what he was getting before he started making big changes.

"I got more than my fair chance," Hendry told reporters Friday after the ax fell.

Most owners don't want to spend money even for decent teams. They absolutely hate spending big money for losers, and who can blame them?

Hendry's recent Cubbie clubs have been loaded with big-money busts. The team sucked. And the impossible seemingly happened, as empty seats started outnumbering filled ones at many ballgames at Wrigley Field. The latter is an unpardonable sin.

Told of Hendry's dismissal, White Sox GM Ken Williams said his North Side counterpart "swung for the fences." Williams meant it as a compliment, of course, because he does the same thing.

The problem comes when the swings start producing more whiffs than hits ... and in recent years, Hendry became the Adam Dunn of GMs.

Not only did he commit far too much of ownership's money on bad ballplayers, he also committed far too much of it to miscreants and malcontents as the Cubs became Unlovable Losers.

Only a sucker would pay $60 for a bleacher seat to watch Cra-Z Zambrano pitch.

That Hendry was the only GM in baseball who thought Milton Bradley was a $30 million ballplayer probably says all anybody needs to know about why Hendry is now an ex-GM. It seems like ancient history now, but that 2008-09 offseason deal was the beginning of the end for Hendry.

No GM outworked Jim Hendry, who famously was hospitalized with a heart condition when he signed Ted Lilly before the 2007 season. Hendry's an OK guy, too. He and I mostly got along, and when he did disagree with something I wrote, he pulled me aside and told me privately. I had to respect that.

In the end, however, the Cubs went 749-748 under his watch. That's the very definition of mediocrity, and it cannot be tolerated.

Not even in Cubbieland, where dreams have gone to die for 103 years and counting.
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U of Miami: Magna Cum Fraude

2011-08-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

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I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the University of Miami, famous for putting academics ahead of football, would get embroiled in an extra-benefits scandal that would see its freckle-faced young lads receive cash, cars, travel, hookers and miscellaneous other $alacious $tuff from boo$ters.

Moreover, I am stunned -- stunned! -- that this could happen at any American institution of higher education. After all, mustn't we always refer to these lads as student-athletes?

I mean, what next? Some of these lads might not graduate magna cum laude?
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600 big flies for a really good guy

2011-08-16T19:12:00.001-07:00

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Congrats on No. 600 to Jim Thome, one my favorite athletes I've ever covered.

Jim didn't need 600 to validate anything. He already had Hall of Fame enshrinement in the bag. Still, it sure is a nice exclamation point on a superb career for one of the true good guys ever to play professional sports.

Baseball -- and society, for that matter -- could use a lot more Jim Thomes.
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Today's High Five - Cra-Z (& PGA) Edition

2011-08-15T06:41:00.002-07:00

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5. Sure, Carlos Zambrano is Cra-Z ... but if the Cubbies sack him for good, they'll miss a chance to finally get a big-game performance out of what already has been a $115 million investment in the loony right-hander. So what if he's 0-for-a-decade? Haven't you ever heard of a late bloomer?

4. Deficit, schmeficit. Joblessness, schmoblessness. Recession, schmession. Some dude named Keegan Bradley has won the PGA Championship, and all is grand in America again!

3. The MLB union says the Cubs have no right to suspend Zambrano without pay for 30 days. Seems the guild doesn't want there to be a precedent for teams punishing bombastic, lunatic, headhunting quitters. Makes sense to me.

2. As entertaining as it was to watch Tiger Woods hit the same kind of shots that I all too often do, shank you very much, the PGA Tour desperately needs him -- or somebody -- to be The Guy.

Right now, the tour is a massive blob of Luke Donalds (No. 1 by default), Steve Strickers (just good enough to not win the big one), Phil Mickelsons (fading former heroes), Rory McIlroys (not-quite-ready-for-coronation young guns) and a boatload of Keegan Bradleys.

As a fan, I want somebody setting the bar. I want The Guy every other golfer knows he must beat.

Yes, no-names occasionally won majors even before this current run of has-beens and never-will-bes ... but at least those nobodies had to beat Tiger Woods to do it. Now, alas, they only have to beat Jason Dufner.

1. It was nice to see Cubbie brass take a stand against not just Cra-Z but the entire notion that it's permissible for a bad pitcher to go headhunting just because he's bad.

Though I've never been a big fan of beanballs (because I generally am against assault with a deadly weapon), I at least understand the unwritten rules justifying "purpose pitches" in retaliation for an opponent's hotdogging or headhunting.

What I've never gotten is the belief by many that it's all right for a pitcher who has been rocked to throw at the next batter. Or for a team that gives up homers to a guy in his first two at-bats to then throw at him his third time up.

That amounts to a player or team saying: "I (we) suck, and I (we) can't get you out, so I'm (we're) gonna be chickenshit and throw at you. So there."

So good for Jim Hendry for saying that isn't OK -- yes, the Cubbie GM finally did something right.

And here's hoping the Cubs won't condone the practice even when the guilty pitcher isn't a multimillion-dollar albatross the team desperately wants to dump.
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Sweaty but still swingin'

2011-08-09T22:42:00.000-07:00

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I'm not sure what came over me Tuesday but I decided to walk 18 holes at a hilly course in 95 degree temps with 75 percent humidity. By the end, I was practically seeing mirages, I was so delirious.

Actually, the front 9 went well, at least by my standards. Shot a 42 with five pars, my best 9 so far as a Charlotte resident. I was tired but parred 8 and 9 and felt good about how I was playing, so when I presented myself with 3 choices -- A. Go home happy with the 42; B. Grab a cart for the back 9; C. Keep on keepin' on -- A didn't seem the right move. And though I was a sweaty mess, I thought I could keep going as long as I consumed lots of fluids. Ugh.

I got through No. 10 with a double-bogey but it was the long, uphill walk from 10 to 11 that almost did me in. Not surprisingly, I went triple-double-double over the next three holes, meaning I was 9 over through 4 on the back after going 6 over on the entire front.

I got a nice break on No. 14 when construction on the men's tee area forced all golfers to go from the ladies' tee, turning a long par-4 into a 300-yarder. I carded a par and was rejuvenated a little. I then went bogey-bogey-bogey.

When I stepped to the 18th tee to begin the 522-yarder, I was beyond spent. Still, I just told myself to take some deep breaths and be happy this would be the end (hopefully only of the round, not of me). I hit my best drive of the day and followed with by far my best fairway wood and a decent pitch shot that left me about 12 feet from the hole. I ran my birdie putt a couple feet beyond the hole and then tapped in for a satisfying par.

My final tally: 42-48-90. Could have been better but it still beat my previous best at the course, a 92.

This was the first time I had walked this course and I might do so again, but not in that kind of heat and humidity. At the very least, I should have gotten a cart for the much more arduous back 9.

Still, there was a sense of personal satisfaction knowing that, at 50, I still could do something like this. I'm a wimp, sure, but not quite as wimpy a wimp as I thought.

And here's the best thing: I actually earned sympathy points from my wife even though she worked a full day and I played golf!
^

Thankfully, CEOs won't lose bonuses to any tax hike!

2011-08-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

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Through their incompetence, intransigence or both, the fools and thieves in charge of our government have socked us with a financial penalty worse than any 100 tax hikes.

The lead-up to and aftermath of the Debt Ceiling Follies have resulted in trillions of dollars in lost wealth, and not just for the wealthy. I'm certainly not rich and I've probably suffered six-figure losses in my retirement accounts these past two weeks.

I say "probably" only because I'm too depressed to take a long look at my accounts and tally the actual damages.

As a moderate who believes in the wonders of compromise, I'd love to blame the tea partiers for all of this ... but I can't, even if they are the drivers of the U.S.S. Insanity. Incredibly, some of these line-in-the-sand yahoos are still complaining that they only got 99 percent of what they wanted.

The gutless "regular" Republicans couldn't think for themselves and let a minority of extremists in their ranks dictate the dialogue. I'm still waiting for one working-class (or unemployed) Republican to adequately explain why he or she would support GOP politicians who so obviously could give a rat's rear about anybody but the richest 3 percent of society.

Did I say 3 percent? Sorry. I meant 1 percent.

The even more gutless Democrats, meanwhile, routinely get pantsed by their rivals because they aren't tough enough. They could have prevented all this from happening by acting on the debt ceiling last December, when they had vast legislative majorities, but they were immobilized by fear. As for Barack Obama, what does the man stand for? More than 2 1/2 years into his presidency, I wish I knew.

It might take years for us to recover the savings we've lost in just the last few weeks -- and, despite Rick Perry's pathetic Prayer-A-Palooza over the weekend -- the fall is far from over.

But hey, at least our elected leaders managed to prevent the elimination of tax loopholes for corporate jet owners and hedge fund managers. The Republic is saved!
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Today's High Five

2011-08-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

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5. Thank goodness Timothy Geithner is staying on as Treasury secretary. I mean, without him, America would be having a rough time financially instead of going through such robust growth.

4. So, Stevie Williams beat Tiger Woods. Pretty interesting stuff. Oh, and I hear Adam Scott was involved somehow, too.

3. Even Cubbie fans can't be gullible enough to have gotten excited about that 7-game winning streak, right? Right?

2. Let's see: Hunter Pence is a talented, popular, 28-year-old, prime-of-his-career-still-to-come outfielder who can't be a free agent until 2014. I'm still trying to figure out why the Astros felt they needed to trade him to the Phillies or anybody else. Dumping Carlos Lee and his bloated contract (and bloated body), I could have understood. But isn't Pence just the kind of player such a franchise should build around?

1. No more AAA for the U.S.A.? Now who are we gonna call when we get a flat tire or need a TripTik?
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Pirates hit doozy of a speed bump

2011-08-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

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Figures.

Just as the national media climbs aboard the Pirate Bandwagon, both wheels fall off, the cargo gets dumped at the side of the road and the driver passes out from exhaustion.

How bad have things gotten? Now they can't even beat the Cubs!

Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

Make way for Losing Season No. 19 in a row.
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A most memorable whitewater experience

2011-08-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

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I had out-of-town visitors last week and took them to the U.S. National Whitewater Center, a relatively new Charlotte facility that hosted the 2008 Olympic kayak trials.

We went rafting on the manmade rapids (more on that later), kayaking on the nearby Catawba River and ziplining. I even took a 46-foot leap off a platform -- the Mega Jump -- with a cable attached. We could have done rockclimbing, an obstacle course and other activities, too, but we were too exhausted and sun-drenched.

As for that rafting experience ...

Our guide calls himself Capt. Dan. He was so tan it looked painful, as if his entire body and face had been stretched to the limit and then wrapped in a leather girdle. It quickly became obvious that he was full of himself, as he rattled off the names of the dozens of rivers on which he had steered rafts. Oh, and he spoke in a fake, sometimes unintelligible southern drawl; I mean, the dude's bio says he's from Hoboken, N.J.!

Simply stated, Capt. Dan was a piece of work.

Two in our party were kids and two more were middle-aged ladies, and Capt. Dan soon became frustrated that power and teamwork were lacking. Near the end of our five-run trip, he pretty much gave up on us ... but not before our raft capsized, spilling all of us into the water.

It was a brutally hot day, so I didn't mind the swim, but one of the women in our group briefly had gotten trapped under the raft and started panicking a little. Thankfully, she came out of it just fine.

So was the whole day a disaster and, given the nearly 50-dollar-a-head price, a rip-off?

Not at all. While it wasn't quite the same experience as actual rafting on an actual river, we had a lot of fun.

And Capt. Dan gave us something to talk about for the rest of the weekend, maybe even for the rest of our lives.
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Indians get Fukudome ... WHY?

2011-07-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

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My favorite sports headline of 2011:

"Indians acquire Fukudome to boost struggling offense"

Hey, if Kosuke Fukudome -- probably baseball's worst stretch-run hitter during his first three years in Cubbieland and one of the biggest of Jim Hendry's many big busts -- is part of the Indians' master plan, they deserve the third- or fourth-place fate that awaits them.

Oh, and by the way, Fukudome went 0-for-4 and stranded four runners in his Cleveland debut, a 12-0 loss to the mighty Royals.

How do you say Mr. Clutch in Japanese?
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Like it or not, La Russa wins his way

2011-07-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

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First, Scott Rolen.

Then, Jim Edmonds.

Now, Colby Rasmus.

And probably a few other guys I can't think of off the top of my head.

I don't want to say Tony La Russa can be a less-than-pleasant manager to play for, but ... OK, I guess I do want to say it.

He's not the best for media mopes, either. The one time I had a chance to observe him at length came in March 2008, when I covered a week of Cardinals spring training in Florida. The St. Louis press corps had to tiptoe around every topic, afraid to step on the eggshell that is Tony's massive, overly sensitive ego.

The beat guys from the Post-Dispatch managed to hang in there pretty well, but some of the others, including the local MLB.com guy, felt they had to ask questions in a certain way to avoid feeling the skipper's wrath.

"Um, Tony, we know you are the greatest manager ever and we'd never second-guess you for an instant, but could you please explain why you might consider batting Skip Schumacher leadoff ... "

OK, maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but you get my drift.

Even though La Russa had seen me around the ballpark for years, he really had no clue who I was. And he didn't particularly care. The third or fourth day I was there in Florida, it was a little chilly so I was wearing my Marquette pullover. La Russa mentioned he had become friendly with then-MU coach Tom Crean. This led to a 5-minute conversation between us and, for the rest of the week, Tony didn't get pissed at me just for asking routine questions.

All in all, though, I thought he was quite a jerk, and I wasn't the least bit surprised he was in the Bobby Knight-Bill Parcells circle of friends.

Then again, the Cardinals shouldn't care if the media or even the players like their manager. No matter the makeup of the roster, La Russa almost always keeps the team competitive.

One need not be a jerk to be a good manager -- as Joe Torre, Terry Francona, Bob Lemon and numerous others have proven -- but given the choice of a jerk who wins or a lovable lug who loses, any intelligent owner would take the former.

Even if it occasionally results in a good player taking a hike.
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Lockouts, shooting sprees and everything in between

2011-07-25T11:39:00.001-07:00

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This Week's Top Ten:

10. Congrats to NFL owners and players for settling on a collective bargaining agreement in time to save the season. Now if they only could do something important and get Congress and the White House to agree on a debt-ceiling package. How 'bout it, Jerry Jones and Tom Brady?

9. Republicans are afraid that ending tax loopholes and enacting other revenue-producing steps will hurt the economy (as well as piss off their rich -- oops, sorry, their "job-creating" -- friends). Democrats, meanwhile, believe entitlement programs can grow forever and ever without hurting the economy at all. Compromise, of course, is the obvious solution ... but apparently obvious only to those of us who aren't in position to make such decisions.

8. The Tour de France has ended. Tune in tomorrow for the Tour de Doping Scandal.

7. Good news, folks: It looks like we're about to use millions more in taxpayer dollars on a second Roger Clemens trial that's bound to be at least as satisfying and meaningful as the first. And we wonder why our nation is in hock up to its collective eyeballs.

6. I have a timeshare I'm thinking about giving away just so I no longer will have to pay the annual fee. Kind of like the Cubs' thoughts regarding Alfonso Soriano ... except I think I'll be able to avoid having to pay $40 million just to get somebody to take my week in Myrtle Beach.

5. Maybe you've noticed (but probably you haven't) that I've been blogging pretty infrequently lately. You'll be pleased to know that somehow I've managed to survive the financial consequences of such inactivity.

4. Here's something interesting: LeBron went on ESPN to announce he's taking his talents to South Beach to do nothing.

3. Someday I'm going to figure out why South Korean women dominate the LPGA Tour but hardly any of their male counterparts even play on the PGA Tour.

2. On the same weekend the NFL lockout effectively ended came the first rumors of Brett Favre's next un-retirement. Talk about perfect timing.

1. To draw attention to his belief that Muslims are evil murderers, a gun-loving evangelical Christian murdered dozens of innocent non-Islam children. The human race is so screwed.
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World Cup rating aside, it's still only soccer

2011-07-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

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Here's how the Miami Herald framed TV viewership of the Women's World Cup:

The United States lost a dramatic Women’s World Cup final to Japan on Sunday but won over millions of fans, scoring a bigger TV audience than last week’s Major League Baseball All-Star Game. ... ESPN’s coverage of the Women’s World Cup final drew an overnight rating of 8.6, making it the second-most watched women’s soccer match in history behind the 1999 final, which drew a 13.3.

Cynic that I am, here's my take:

The greatest moment in U.S. women's soccer history was the 1999 victory, which drew a 13.3 rating and allegedly was going to take the sport mainstream in America. Twelve years later, despite even more hype fueled by technological advances, the rating was almost 5 points lower. So I'm scratching my bald head trying to figure out who are these millions of new fans supposedly "won over" by this year's event?

Yes, one of soccer's most hyped events ever can get higher ratings than a given year's All-Star Game. But the next "big" soccer event -- say, the MLS championship or some cup of some kind -- won't get higher ratings than some regular-season Saturday ballgame between the Giants and Phillies.

At the end of the day, it's still only soccer. It didn't just get popular among U.S. sports fans overnight, and it isn't about to get popular 1,000 overnights from now.

So folks need to stop pretending there has been some kind of breakthrough.

Because there hasn't been.
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Sweet (second) home Chicago

2011-07-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

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My wife and I just returned from a long weekend in Chicago, where we spent four fun-filled days with our wonderful kids, Katie and Ben. We also had a chance to see many of our closest friends, including the Brundidges and the Marks.

We stayed at a downtown hotel -- a real treat because, as North Side residents for nearly 16 years, we never had overnighted in the middle of the all the action. It was exciting just to walk around such vibrant areas as the Magnificent Mile and Millennium Park.

We ate some great food, including tortas at Xoco (Rick Bayless' irresistible sandwich joint) and pizza at our No. 1 deep-dish establishment, Pequod's. We also saw our favorite band, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, at the House of Blues, an awesome venue for a great group such as RCPM.

On Friday, while Roberta met some of her former co-workers for lunch, I joined former sportswriting colleagues Phil Arvia and Mike "Moishe" Imrem for a great round of bad golf. Though all three of us were big-time hacks, I will proudly say I carded the day's only birdie and also won our three-hole competition on 16, 17 and 18. Yep, something else to bring me back to the game that loves to hate me! Special thanks to Phil for providing transportation to the course and back -- and for talking his brother into letting me borrow a set of clubs. Oh, if those poor clubs could talk.

We experienced real joy in seeing the way Katie, now 24, and Ben, 23, took charge of many of the activities. We're so proud of how they have matured and become great contributors to society through their hard work and lively personalities.

When Monday afternoon came and we landed in Charlotte, I had the strangest feeling. Yes, we were back "home," but it sure seemed as if we also had left home behind.

We are adjusting nicely to our newly adopted hometown and honestly can say we like living in North Carolina. Still, there is no place quite like Chicago.

We can't wait to go back for another visit, and next time we hope to hang out even longer.
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Surprise, surprise! July in Charlotte is hot

2011-07-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

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Played golf yesterday courtesy of my new employer, Ballantyne Country Club. It was 96 degrees and the dew point (whatever that is) was 89. So the heat index (whatever that is) was approximately a gazillion.

I was drenched in my own perspiration. I actually had to turn my cap backward to putt because beads of sweat were running from my forehead to the bill of my cap and dripping down at my feet, a most distracting thing.

But I drank a lot of water. I survived. And believe it or not, I even had fun.

Roberta and I weren't born in Charlotte. We weren't raised here. And we weren't forced to live here. We chose to relocate to a place where the summertime air is so thick, you practically can reach out, grab it and wring it out.

We knew about all that coming in, so to complain about it now would be pretty pathetic.

I like to look at it this way: It's perfect weather for brewing sun tea, my favorite beverage.

I also like to look at it this way: Autumn and spring in the Carolinas are spectacular, and this past winter was a great winter to be nowhere near Chicago. The price for that goodness: a few steamy months.

Oh ... for the record, I had five pars, a bunch of non-pars and finished with a 97.

As those who have golfed with me in all kinds of weather know, I'd be pretty dishonest if I tried to blame the heat index.
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MVPs ... and LVPs, too

2011-07-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

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Jose Batista and Jose Reyes are the midseason MVPs ... of the Blue Jays and Mets.

Were I voting for league MVPs today, neither would be in my top 5.

It's simple, really: A league MVP need not come from a championship-caliber team, but he must at least be on a legitimate contender.

It's not best player, it's most valuable. It's not most valuable to his team, it's most valuable to his team within the context of an entire league. And if his team has zero chance to be in the postseason mix, how valuable can that player really be?

When Alex Rodriguez, Andre Dawson and Ernie Banks were somehow winning MVP awards for horrible teams, how was that fair to the many great players who were having excellent seasons under pennant-race pressure? As Aramis Ramirez proves practically every year in Cubbieland, it's easier to do well when nothing's on the line.

So with that being said, here are my midseason MVP choices for each league:

AL

5. Paul Konerko, White Sox. He almost didn't make the cut because of where his team sits in the standings: 5 games out of first place in a mediocre division. I'll generously say they are on the borderline of contention and reward him for his awesome first half.

4. Asdrubal Cabrera, Indians. A fine hitter, a wonderful fielder and the unquestioned leader of Cleveland's re-emergence as a contender.

3. Curtis Granderson, Yankees. A tremendous blend of power and speed, he is second in the league in HRs and first in triples.

2. Miguel Cabrera, Tigers. One of baseball's best pure hitters and by far the best player on Detroit's contending team.

1. ADRIAN GONZALEZ, Red Sox. About as easy a choice as you can get. He is the runaway leader in RBI, hits and total bases for the league's best team.

NL

5. Ryan Howard, Phillies. I don't care that he's batting only .257. He leads the league in RBI and has 25 more than his nearest teammate. His power fuels baseball's best team.

4. Brian McCann, Braves. By far the best-hitting catcher, he's also handling one of the top pitching staffs in the majors.

3. Joel Hanrahan, Pirates. The personification of Pittsburgh's rise from the depths of despair, the big reliever is 26 for 26 in save opportunities. The Pirates play lots of close games; what a luxury it must be to know Hanrahan will save them all.

2. Prince Fielder, Brewers. Quite a salary drive. He has led Milwaukee into first place and has positioned himself for a mondo payday.

1. LANCE BERKMAN, Cardinals. Albert Pujols slumped and then got hurt. Matt Holliday got hurt. 3B David Freese got hurt. The pitching staff has been patched together. Yet there the Cards are, right in the thick of things, thanks in great part to the league leader in HR and slugging.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ledger, here are each league's LVPs, the guys doing the least when they were supposed to be valuable:

AL

5. Hideki Matsui, A's. Time for Godzilla to finally retire back into the sea.

4. John Lackey, Red Sox. Hey, at least his ERA is under 8.

3. Chone Figgins, Mariners. Just about time for him to be "chone" the door.

2. Adam Dunn, White Sox. I've never been a fire-the-batting-coach guy, but Greg Walker somehow has turned a feared hitter into a lost soul.

1. ALEX RIOS, White Sox. At least Dunn occasionally hits an accidental homer.

NL

5. Tyler Colvin, Cubs. Another Cubbie Savior bites the dust.

4. Dan Uggla, Braves. The complete package: No-hit and no-field.

3. Edinson Volquez, Reds. Sent packing to Triple-A.

2. Hanley Ramirez, Marlins. Big talent, little heart. What a waste.

1. JAYSON WERTH, Nationals. See what happens when you decide to spend $126 million for a role player and ask him to carry a team?
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No 5-hour rounds!

2011-07-08T13:57:00.001-07:00

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It's new job time, folks. Beginning Saturday, I'll be working as the weekend ranger at beautiful Ballantyne Country Club on the south side of Charlotte. My main duty: cruising the course and making sure each group is keeping up with the group ahead.

I got a tour of the place today and met several fellow employees and club members. They seemed very nice and genuinely grateful I'll be coming on. I'll work most Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.

This is my second golf-course job since I arrived in Charlotte last year. I enjoyed the first but the commute became too long after we bought our house on the opposite side of town. Ballantyne is only a 15- to 20-minute trip.

I'm looking forward to being outside (even on the 95-degree, 95-percent-humidity days) and being around golf again. The fact that I get weekday playing privileges doesn't hurt, either!
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Today's High Five - Baseball Edition

2011-07-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

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5. Any day now, Derek Jeter will become the 28th player in major league history to achieve the 3,000-hit milestone. His pursuit already has garnered more publicity than the other 27.

Combined.

Please, oh god of baseball (and all things ESPN), let it happen already!

4. Can't we just bronze Albert Pujols and put him in the Hall of Fame right now?

3. I can't remember ever seeing a lamer effort at preventing a home run than the one turned in by White Sox centerfielder Alex Rios on Wednesday. He took his time pursuing Eric Hosmer's sky-high deep fly off Edwin Jackson and never even jumped as the ball bounced off the top of the wall and over the fence to give the Royals a 2-0 lead in a game they'd win 4-1.

How bad was it? Even the biggest homer in all announcing, Hawk Harrelson, ripped him.

Rios did manage one hit, lifting his batting average to a robust .216. Hey, what do you expect from a guy only making $70 million?

One thing's for sure: Had Rios -- not Dewayne Wise -- been playing center field for the White Sox on July 23, 2009, Mark Buehrle wouldn't have pitched a perfect game.

2. I don't envy the Mets when it comes to dealing with Jose Reyes.

As he's showing this season, when healthy he is one of baseball's most dynamic, valuable players.

Far too often, however, Reyes is not healthy. In fact, he's out with a tweaked hamstring right now.

How can the Mets afford to sign such a fragile dude to the nine-figure contract he'll demand as a free agent this offseason?

Then again, given their talent level, how can they afford not to?

1. Five years ago, Aramis Ramirez and first-year Cub Juan Pierre were high-paid players in contract years. Both were so awful in the first third of the season that they condemned the team to abject failure.

Both players went on to perform well when the pressure was off and earned ridiculously rich new contracts after the season.

Flash forward to 2011. Ramirez and first-year Cub Carlos Pena are high-paid players in contract years. Both were so awful in the first third of the season that they condemned the team to abject failure.

Now that the Cubs are approximately 1,000 games out of first place and the pressure is completely off, both Ramirez and Pena are smashing the ball all over the place.

What a surprise.

The biggest myth in all of baseball is that Aramis Ramirez is a good clutch player. Truth is, he's one of the biggest chokers in modern history.
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